Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Newlyweds...May 19, 2006

Presenting the Newlyweds,
Kevin and Katie

Update June 27, 2006 The Wedding

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I Danced With My Son On His Wedding Day...

Oh, my... Bill, of Contratimes, How can I thank you for the truly beautiful suggestion!? (Scroll down for pictures!)

The call came for the Groom to Dance with his Mother, and I gave away my camera, turned, and saw my son walking toward me, about half way across the middle of the floor. I walked toward him, as he grinned his special grin....

We met nearly in the middle of the dance floor as the music started. And he kept grinning...

I listened, and said... "Which one did you pick?"

"You should know, Mom... you picked it!"

I listened just a little longer, looked at him and said "Celtic Woman?" And his grin got bigger...and I started to cry.

As we danced, I told him I loved him, that I am proud of the man he has become, and he teared up...I told him to be happy and to take care of Katie. He said he would... "I love you, Mom!"

He told me that he still had the Kleenex in his pocket that I'd given him earlier in the day for Katie and him to use during Mass if they needed it... And while still dancing, he pulled it out, I took one for me...and one for him.

Because though I was teary-eyed, the tears were running down my son's face as the words began..... and I had to wipe them away several times...

"You Raise Me Up"

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

My Baby boy....

Has grown to be....

A Gentle, Noble Man....

Kevin Patrick...I love you, forever!
Be good to Katie...til death do you part.

Katie, Take care of Kevin.

Both of you, Love each other. A choice, not a feeling! Remember Deacon's words about the meaning of a Kiss. Respect each other.

I, Kevin, take you, Katie, to be my wife.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

I, Katie, take you, Kevin, to be my husband.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

And The Two Shall Become One ....

"What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."

Update June 27, 2006 The Wedding

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More Wedding Photos

More Wedding Photos

My second daughter and her family (the four year old 'Dancer' and the curly haired one year old boy) are included in this album.

The box containing the Rosaries and the Door Knocker that my 'buddy and I' gave to them after the Deacon blessed them, and then prayed for Kev and Katie are shown there, which was done right after they signed their Wedding License, as seen in picture number 101. Kev is also seen showing them to his Dad the next day.

The flowers in the vase were the table centerpieces, with a mirror and three vigil candles on each table. Katie likes Gerber Daisies... the quilt that they are holding up was made by Grandma Karen (Gordon's wife) and they accepted married responsibility almost immediately by foregoing their planned outdoor park photos and went instead to the hospital to visit Kevin's only living Grandmother, my Mom. They took their photographer with them, to be included in their wedding album.... The photographer will edit the picture and put a different background in ...

Some are out of order, as I have not 'edited' yet... enjoy!

God bless~~

Update June 27, 2006 The Wedding

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And Oh... How They Danced, On the Night They Were Wed...

Kevin and Katie danced, not just the traditional Bridal Dance together, but many others, including a newer group dance I never saw or heard about. At the moment, I cannot find where they ended up on my puter!

Katie danced the Traditional Dance with her Dad....and later in the night, he danced with BOTH of his two married daughters at the same time...

Update June 27, 2006 The Wedding

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The Wedding......

While the Bride and her Attendents Got Ready, the Photographers (they work in pairs) got an opportunity to take some pictures. Katie, below, and then with my granddaughter, aged 5 who DID truly go down the aisle BOTH WAYS, and stayed quietly at her mother's side for the entire Mass. Her brother escorted her down the aisle...and... she did NOT just look down at her basket and flowers...she did smile as she walked beside him.

Awhile back, Kev gave me permission to print his poem and his comments about the death of his grandfather, Gordon. As Gordon's second wife was going through his things, she chose some to give to my oldest daughter, who told Kev that she had a surprise for him on his wedding day (she also had one for Katie... a white ribbon with a blue dove that was attached to HER wedding bouquet--something borrowed, something blue..). Shortly before the ceremony was to begin, she took him to a side vestibule, and gave Kev his Grandfather's cuff links. I gave them time alone together before I went to take pictures...because my son was crying, as was my daughter as they hugged.

Kevin told her that this gift was the best one he had been given.....

While the 'girls' were getting ready, the 'guys were also having a picture session. And yes, that is a HUMVEE, rented to be the Wedding Transportation.... Below are Groomsman, good friend, Brother of the bride, my grandson, Father of the Bride, her littlest brother, another groomsman. In the background, Best Man, and in the Driver's Door, my son, the Groom.

Saying their wedding vows, and exchanging their rings... with the Bridesmaids watching...and below, lighting their Unity Candle (allowed in this parish.)

Update June 27, 2006 The Wedding

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Today, Rehearsal... Tomorrow, the Wedding

I have been sitting here trying to put my thoughts into words, and have not been able to.

This afternoon, at four thirty (nearly promptly... sigh .. I was on time, his Dad wasn't... nor was the Groom, who had to test drive the bright yellow Humvee they rented as the Bridal vehicle...). (They were only about five minutes late... but it was HE who reminded me that Deacon meant PROMPTLY, not L**** Family Time,

My beautiful grand-daughter cried in the Narthex... not wanting to walk down the aisle...

She is the Flower Girl. Kev tried to warn Kate... Six years ago, her brother did the same thing at my middle child's wedding...only then it was DURING the wedding...and I had to run after him as he exited the Church in the front....yup, right down the aisle, holding the hand of one of the bridesmaids.... and straight out the side door!! In front of God and the whole Church, on the very day of the wedding... sooo cute he was!

Kev tried to warn Katie... We all tried to warn her.... tonight, she found out that we MIGHT be right!

We are praying, though. Grandson is ringbearer for this wedding, and this time, he is ten. And HE really wants to walk down that aisle this time. So he (good big brother) said to her... "Please? Won't you please walk with me? You don't have to look! You can just look at your basket..."

And she, trusting little sister said... "All right, Alie... I'll walk with you and just look at my basket and flowers...." I am hoping that she does NOT end up crying on the way down the aisle....

Just before they rehearsed walking through the Mass, the Deacon talked us all through it first.

I sat on one side of the Church, and my children's father sat on the other. The Deacon was leading our son, our baby, through the ceremony and Mass for tomorrow. He was talking about the three questions that he will ask them tomorrow before their wedding vows. He was speaking to us all, telling all of us about the three requirements for a Sacramental Marriage and reminding each of us of what WE were asked so long ago....Sacramental Marriage is one between two Baptized people.

These are things that people today 'claim' that they 'did not understand' on the day they themselves stood before the priest/minister and pronounced their wedding vows, usually when they want out of one marriage and into another.... justifying breaking their covenant.

He will ask them if they are making these promises (this Covenant) ... these vows, these oaths to each other willingly.

He will ask them if they understand the PERMANENCE of this action, that marriage is INDISSOLUBLE regardless of what man tries to do ...

He will ask them if they are open to Life, to having Children.

And he will ask them for real tomorrow once again, seriously, looking each of them in the eye, waiting for their individual "Yes!"

And their parents will be sitting within hearing distance... remembering their own vows. And I wonder about those who have chosen to walk out on theirs, what they will be thinking.... one in particular.

We had the Rehearsal Dinner after practice was over...and all are doing the last minute preparations. Tomorrow, bright and early, 'the girls' meet at the Bride's house to have our hair and make-up done... then to the Church at Noon for photos, and the Wedding at 2:30.

Tomorrow, my son, my baby, now a young man will become ONE with Katie.

And NO MAN, be he Judge or Attorney, Civil or Canon, or Tribunal Member can put them assunder.

Society likes to think that they can with no fault unilateral forced divorce. But there are a few honest Judges out there who have TOLD those in his courtroom that while his hands on earth are tied, and he has no choice but to follow man's law, and grant divorce... there is a HIGHER AUTHORITY who says that his ruling will truly mean nothing....

3: And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?"
4: He answered, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female,
5: and said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
6: So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."

6: But from the beginning of creation, `God made them male and female.'
7: `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
8: and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh.
9: What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."

Our vows:
The groom says:I (...), take you (...) to be my wife.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

The bride says:I (...), take you (...) to be my husband.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Update June 27, 2006 The Wedding

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

More of Dr Bob...

Dr Bob is gone for awhile, but left behind a few to read from his archives. Though I have read these before, I read them again tonight.

And I have decided to share them with you, also. He does write VERY well...

Medical Ethics

Pope Names New Archbishop for Washington

Archdiocese of Washington

Bishop Donald Wuerl was named by the Vatican to replace Cardinal Theodore McCarrick as Archbishop of Washington.

Bishop Donald W. Wuerl of Pittsburgh was named by Pope Benedict XVI today as the new archbishop of Washington, succeeding Cardinal Theodore E. McCarrick.

Bishop Wuerl, 65, has served as Pittsburgh's bishop since 1988, and is considered one of the more prominent of the nation's conservative bishops. His first appointment after being ordained a bishop in 1986 was in an unusual power-sharing arrangment in Seattle, where he was sent as assistant bishop by Pope John Paul II while Archbishop Raymond G. Hunthausen was under investigation by the Vatican for unorthodox views.

Cardinal McCarrick, who was regarded as more moderate on many issues, praised Bishop Wuerl as "one of the great churchmen of the United States." He spoke of his prayers that the Pope would pick a great bishop to take his place, saying, "He has done that, in spades."

Monday, May 15, 2006

We Will... We Will... OtherCott You! (Sing it, now!)

Stolen from Catholic Fire (forgive me, please!)

Jumping Over the Hedge: Going a Da Vinci Boycott One Better

(and I will add this one, so it isn't missed...
Click here for 10 "other" things to do on or before May 19th...)

Sing it:

"We will -
We will -

~ Via Barbara Nicolosi.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Today was really hard. I didn't feel well at all, yesterday or today. I slept most of the time. I think it is a combination of everything going on.

I did not make it up to the hospital to see my mother today, as a result. And I am feeling badly for that. I did call her when I woke this evening.

My mother is the oldest daughter, third child of six. She went to nursing school in Milwaukee, and had to take time off for her own illness, and also time off for her own Mother's illness and death from cancer. When she returned, the nun in charge scheduled her for only part-time work on the units. Mom had three months left to graduate. At some point, she asked about this...and was told by the nun that 'she had no idea' when Mom would be scheduled full time again, but in the mean time, this part-time was not counting toward graduation... was only paying for her room and board.

Mom stood up for herself by leaving. Something she regretted doing for the rest of her life, as she worked most of that time as a nursing assistant, instead of as an RN. In the days when she could 'challenge' the LPN test... she tried a few times, but each time she either began the process or began to write to do so, she found that she was pregnant again. She gave up the final time when, at age 43, it happened again... Mom had my youngest sister when she was 44 years old.

I am the oldest, nineteen and a half years older than her youngest. Six girls, four boys.

We had one girl, three boys, then two more girls were born. My brothers began to pray for another boy when Mom was pregnant with Number seven... then again with number eight. They got girls each time, and began to pray immediately that the NEXT one would be a boy. In 1963, our baby brother (now the tallest of the family) was born, and Mom told them that they could stop praying!

When baby brother (born the largest of her children at nearly ten pounds, and again, now the tallest of her children) was about four or so, he told Mom that what he REALLY wanted for Christmas was ... a baby brother or sister... with Mom attempting to place her hand over his mouth quickly so that no one would hear...

The following Christmas, as he looked at all the gifts under the tree that were for our latest addition, born in October of that year... he wistfully said that he wished he'd never asked for her, cuz then all those gifts would be his.... lol.

She was born in 1968. She has been Mom's lifeline, has kept Mom young. Graduated from College with High or Highest Honors in three years, with a French major. (I cannot remember if Summa or Magna Cum Laude). Married with six children of her own now.

Mom raised us all while working most of her married life. Seldom did she go to the doctor for anthing other than her pregnancies. She has had two kidney stones in the later years, and one day said she would GLADLY take any or all of her posterior labors again rather than ONE more kidney stone, because at least there was a break in the pain with the labor...

Mom and Dad did not have it easy, raising ten children. Financially, or any other way. There was a point when they were married 20 and 25 yrs that Mom was angry enough to write a letter to Dad. The first one was hidden in her drawer under the liner while she 'thought about it'. Five years later, she'd 'thought about it long enough', wrote another one, and remembered the first one. When reading it, she decided to deliver both, as they said almost the same things.

Later, Dad read them, and called to her to come to their room. She was afraid of the response. Dad's words... 'I read your letters. You're right. I'm sorry. I will save them and read them over again, and again to remind me. I love you".... were much better than what she'd anticipated all day long.

The two of them then began to fall in love all over again. They had never really had any time to themselves. Children born in 49, 50, 51, 54, 55, 57, 59, 61, 63, and 68 with two miscarriages... did not leave them much time to BE alone. They carried on. They did what they promised to do. They raised their children in the best way that they could. They made mistakes. One of them was to lose touch with each other.

They found each other again. They learned to golf together, and traveled with golfing friends to distant golf courses. Dad dreamed of retiring, selling the house, getting a 'rollahome' and traveling all the good golf courses... Mom did not want to sell. She wanted a home base to return to... Dad backed down on the selling idea, but kept the rest of it.

Jan 3, 1987 changed everything for them. Dad 'threw a clot' and lost the use of his left arm. A few days, or weeks later, he lost half the vision in his left eye. In Mar of that year, his blood pressure went sky high, and he was admitted to the hospital. His kidneys were failing. He ended up on dialysis, and hated every moment of it. Dad was a strong man, not one to sit around being ill. He'd worked his way up from a broom pusher mill worker to a middle management position at the local paper mill in under 25 years... on salary, due to the amount of overtime he'd been working, he joked.

On April 3, 1987, Dad turned 62, on disability. Not able to retire as he'd dreamed of doing that birthday. On June 3, 1987, my father died. There is a lot more to those last months to tell, but that is not important right now.

I watched my mother at the funeral home the night of Dad's wake... she was reluctant to leave. Several sibs said ... Mom.. let's go. I told them to leave her alone for awhile. She was saying good bye to her husband. Though he'd spent many nights apart from her in the hospital, it was not the same. This time, when she left him, it was forever.

Now, she is the one who is ill. Her memory is not good for short term things. And she has been in pain for a long time. It all came to a head one day a few weeks ago, and they took an xray. 'Something' showed up at the bottom of her spine. They wanted her in that night for an MRI.
The next day, they did a biopsy of that 'something', and cleaned out the 'infection' that they thought was there...and then called in an infectious disease specialist, who suspected TB of the bone. Another 'biopsy'. And now, weeks later, STILL no definite results to tell us what this 'something' is.

It is hard not knowing. It is even harder when so many other things are pressing and cannot be changed. One realizes very quickly that one has no control.

"I can't. He Can. So I will let Him..." runs through my head all the time lately. But it is so hard not to try to take back that control that I don't have!

Mom has ten adult children with their spouses, and there are a total of 31 grandchildren (one deceased) and six great-grandchildren, soon to be nine. All of her siblings are still alive, though three of them have lost their life's partners now.

She has helped out each of her kids at different times in their lives, as it was needed. We are trying very hard to find a way to help her out, to keep her in her own home--the one she did not want to sell so long ago. She is a strong lady, and still denies the amount of pain she has, though the medications she has been being given speak for themselves! IV morphine, for awhile. Now, Oxycontin.... and a 'patch' for continuous pain control.

And there is nothing that any of us can do to ease this pain for her.... even with those kidney stones, she did not have MS to help control it.

Mom, I love you. I wish that it was possible to tell you how much.

There is a possibility that her pain will prevent her from coming to my son's wedding on Friday. If so, my son has already agreed to bring the wedding party to her, at the hosptial, so that she can see the Bride and Groom.

But we are still hoping that she will be there, at the Church, and at the supper. Please pray with us.

God bless you, Mom! Happy Mother's Day, and Grandmother's Day... and Great-Grandmother's Day!

Addendum written on May 2o, 2006:

Mom did not make it to Kev's wedding. My sister called sometime before 9 AM to say Mom just did not feel well enough to go, especially to ride in the car.

Kev, as promised, took most of his wedding party to the hospital, along with his wonderful two photographers, who took several of Mom with the Bridal Couple, of Kev, me, and Mom together. They will replace the background digitally, to make it just a little prettier picture.

We missed her...and she missed the supper. But she was the IRISH part of me, as Kev's Grandpa Gordon was the IRISH part of Kev's Dad... so she was there, regardless.

God bless you!

Update June 27, 2006 The Wedding

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To Dance With My Son At His Wedding, continued

My son has made his decision.

A couple of weeks ago, I met his future Mother in Law to find something special for the two children now adults beginning their lives together. She'd had an idea, and it is a very nice one, especially for the timing of the wedding, and the fact that this is a Catholic marriage.

While shopping, we each found something that we will give to them either at the rehearsal, or at the wedding. We have opted for the night of the rehearsal. We will ask to have them blessed, if we can find the priest (the Deacon will perform the ceremony, and will be at the rehearsal... PROMPTLY at four thirty, my son has informed me ... not L.... family four thirty, the REAL four thirty, ON TIME, he informs me, as the Deacon is PROMPT, Mom ... think he is trying to tell me not to be late??)

We have had several to listen to, and think about over the past months, including one suggested by BG of Contratimes, which I really liked, by the way!

Have you ever considered "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban, or by Celtic Woman? The Celtic Woman version is stunning; but Groban's tenor may be more appropriate for this very important moment in your son's wedding. It is a lovely, touching and poignant song: As a man who knows quite a lot about weddings, I will say that it works perfectly for the mother/son dance (the Celtic Woman version is perfect for the Father/Daughter dance).

The Groban lyrics are here, but it is much better to listen to it.

I promise that if your relationship with your son is at all like the sentiments touched on in "You Raise Me Up," there will not be a dry eye in the house.

So, after my son had made the final arrangements with the person doing music at the reception, I asked him what he had decided on for 'OUR' dance....

He began to tell me that he had spoken to my 'buddy' about it. That 'my buddy' thinks it is a very good song, a good idea, and that I will like it.


"Yes, your Buddy."

"My Buddy... who is my 'buddy'?"

"You know, your buddy."

I tried to figure out who this 'buddy' could be... buzzing through my head rapidly for any one he could be thinking of, while HE sat there just grinning at me.

"My buddy??? "

"Yeah, your buddy. The one that you have a secret with. The one that you went shopping with and won't tell me what you got for me with..."


"Yeah. When you tell me what you got for me, I'll tell you what I picked to dance to"....

Errr, nope, no can do.

SO... here I sit, trying to figure out what he has chosen.

I did speak to my 'buddy'. She had no idea that this was a 'secret' until I told her the 'BUDDY' story. As I told her, she figured it out, and realized that she cannot tell me, either. So now my 'buddy' is trying VERY HARD not to blow the secret she has with her soon to be son-in-law. That would not be a good way to begin a new family relationship, now would it?

SO, she did give me one clue.

The song that her daughter will dance to with her father that night is one that is like her father speaking to his daughter.

The one that my son will dance to with me... is like a son speaking to his mother.

I think I may end up crying.

I will let you all know what song he chose after I get home on Sunday afternoon.

God bless!

UPDATE June 27, 2006 The Wedding