Friday, July 01, 2005

"Can I Live?" WOW

Thanks to WriteWingNut, I learned about a musical artist I had never heard of (and probably would never have heard of, since I seldom listen to any rap music...)

But this one has a message that needs to be heard. I have often said that I have never met any adult born of a single mother, adopted nor kept, who had a good life or not, that wished that the decision to abort had been made instead of the decision to let them live.

I have heard talks and read articles by survivors of abortion attempts, like Gianna Jessen and Amy Charlton .

Gianna's story, as well as those of Jim Kelly, Sarah Smith, Sarah Brown, Ana Rosa Rodriguez, Baby Claire, Baby Grace, and Baby Hope and others, are told on other sites.At the first site, , the article begins... "These are not names well known in America. But they should be. They are the names of a few of the survivors of the longest, deadliest war in U.S. history: the 30-year Abortion War."

Some survivors are not so 'lucky' as those above who can speak and tell us about their survival. There is a survivor of George Tiller's partial birth abortion adopted and named Sarah Brown. Her story is both heart wrenching and loving, as she was adopted and cared for until her death at age five. Born as the result of a botched partial birth abortion on July 15, 1993, Sarah lived until Sept 28, 1998.

I am an adoptive mother, and nearly everyday since our first daughter came home with us (after having known about her for 26 days), I have thanked God for her birthmother, who had made the decision for LIFE for her child, and then allowed me to raise her. My second child's bmother has TWO grateful sets of adoptive parents thanking God, as she chose life and adoption for two daughters, about 3 1/2 years apart.

I know MANY adoptive parents from before and after Roe v Wade who share this gratefulness. But, for ever adoptive parent that I know, there is at least one, probably two, and possibly more adoptees. I know many.

NONE would have preferred death in the womb. Not one. ALL are grateful to their birthmothers for LIFE. Especially those born after Jan 22, 1973.

I also know many who were born to unwed moms who chose life, raised their child, and never regretted it though they had many hard times. And THEIR KIDS, now adults with children of their own, also are grateful to be alive.

I have known those kinds of survivors of abortion for years. I now add another, and recommend a very powerful video. I am not usually one to recommend ANY music video, since most of them are terrible in the mental images that they project. However, I have watched and listened to this one. And I urge you to also.

Nick Cannon is highlighted in this article from . I have to quote just a bit from the article, but hope that you go there to read the rest of it, and to the website that tells of Nick Cannon.


“It is our hope that MTV and radio stations will not ban or prevent the playing of ‘Can I Live?’ because of their political views on abortion," said Brandi Swindell of the youth pro-life group GenLife.

"This video represents the emerging passion in this generation speaking out on the issue of abortion. This is the first wave of a post Roe v. Wade generation telling their side of the story. 30 years ago the proponents of decriminalized abortion forgot to factor in that in time they would have to deal with a generation that recognizes the pro-choice line falls short in that it denies an entire group of people the right to exist. No one knows what it's like to be open prey in your mother's womb unless you were born after 1973," Swindell added.

According to another article, Nick Cannon's official website has a forum where
One woman recounted how his video confirmed her in her last minute decision not to have an abortion."

I also read some of his messages on the forum at the official website, and two of them are quoted here:

dated 4/3/05

Hey y'all It's Nick,

Thank you for all the support with my "Can I Live" record. It is really taking off. We are shooting the video very soon. It is going to be great! This record is extremely important to me and to our community. There are alot of young mothers in need and have had to struggle to raise their children. I just wanted to recognize all the strong women who are raising children on their own like my mother had to do. Myself and my foundation really want to help these young women. If any of you out there know a single mother between the ages of 15-25 who may be having a difficult time I would love to hear the story. Please write to me and explain the condition and how I could possibly help. I will check the website and respond accordingly.


dated 6/27/05

Hey everyone!

Please tell your story on how my song and video "Can I Live'' has effected your life. I am publishing a "Can I Live" book and would love to share your personal experiences on how my song and video has changed your life! Please submit your story along with permission to use your story and a photo if possible! This is for my non-profit foundation! Please send your submissions to nickcannonfanclub@ by July 15Th 2005. I can't wait to hear your stories. There are some touching stories in the guest book and message board and I will be contacting you also for permission to publish your story!


Now, turn up the volume just a bit, and go watch the video, "Can I Live?"and for those, like me, who can't QUITE catch all the words to rap... You can find the lyrics here! (grin)

Video Added Mar 20, 2009 by WI Catholic

"When the freedoms of one group of helpless citizens are infringed upon, such as the unborn, the newborn, the disabled and so called "imperfect," what we do not realize is that our freedoms as a NATION and Individuals are in great peril." ~~Gianna Jessen
Testimony of Abortion Survivor Gianna Jessen on HR 4292~~July 20, 2000

Related Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Schiavo death was ‘murder,’ rabbi says

Thanks to Cheryl of and Nancy Valko, RN for pointing me to this article.

I know, as a Catholic, what the teachings of our Church are on food and fluid being basic necessity, and removal of them from a non-dying person is euthanasia by ommission. I know that I consider what happened in Florida to be judicial homicide, opening a Pandora's Box for all disabled persons. I did NOT know that the beliefs of the orthodox Jewish Faith is nearly identical to my own Catholic Faith. This article could not say it more clearly!

I also know this as a nurse since 1972, working with developmentally/cognitively and physically disabled for most of that time.

God bless.

The AMA Should Prefer Hippocratic Oath to Hypocrisy

Illinois governor said all pharmacists MUST provide abortifacient drugs if prescribed, with no room for a person who feels that their religion does not allow them to do so. This article makes an excellent point about the recent AMA decision to legislation that would require all pharmacists fill prescriptions for any legal drugs, including those that cause abortions.

There has to be room for those pharmacists that believe that it is wrong to kill the child in the uterus, even if it is legal. Legal does not always mean ethical nor moral!

Some doctors now refuse to take the Hippocratic oath for various reasons. This is an option, apparently, that they allow themselves. One could say that this is a matter of conscience.

If they can have ethical or moral grounds to decide about this, then they must respect those in other health professions that have similar reasons for not being able to participate, and do not have any desire to be in any way instrumental with taking a human life, pre-born or elderly, or any time in between. No pharmacist should be forced to provide or to refer any prescription he or she feels is morally wrong to provide.

No nurse, no doctor, no person should EVER be forced to give up their profession or go against their conscience!

John Paul II could be declared a martyr

John Paul II could be declared a martyr

ROME (AP) - Vatican officials no longer are dismissing outright the notion that Pope John Paul II could be declared a martyr, a step that could remove the need for a confirmed miracle to beatify the late pontiff and make it easier for him to become a saint.

Cardinal Jose Saraiva Martins, prefect of the Congregation for the Causes of Saints, said Friday it was up to groups of theological experts to decide if the May 13, 1981, attempt on John Paul's life - as well as his long, public suffering before he died - warranted a declaration of martyrdom. "In a technical, theological, juridical and canonical sense, the martyr gives his life for the faith," Saraiva Martins said in response to questions at a news conference, according to the Apcom news agency.

"We have to verify the motive for the attempt on the life of (Karol)Woytyla. And this will be the work of theologians."

Ever since Pope Benedict XVI announced May 13 that he was putting John Paul on the fast track to be beatified, questions have swirled about whether hecould be declared a martyr. Doing so would remove the need for the Vatican to confirm that a miracle attributed to his intercession had occurred after his April 2 death - a necessary step for beatification.

The Vatican would still need to confirm that a miracle occurred after his beatification for John Paul to be declared a saint. Church officials had initially rejected outright any suggestion that the 1981 assassination attempt could be the basis for a martyrdom declaration since John Paul lived for almost another 24 years. They also noted that other candidates for beatification and sainthood had also suffered ordinary illnesses at the end of their lives but were not declared martyrs.

John Paul suffered from Parkinson's disease for many years. According to his death certificate, he died of blood poisoning and the collapse of his blood vessels after suffering from organ failure brought on by a urinary tract infection.

However, Cardinal Camillo Ruini appeared to have been setting the stage for a possible martyrdom declaration Tuesday when he formally opened the beatification cause for John Paul. During his remarks at the end of the service, Ruini said there was a "decisive" link between John Paul and Jesus Christ based on blood. "John Paul truly spilled his blood in St. Peter's Square on May 13, 1981, and then again, not just his blood but he offered his life during the long years of his illness," Ruini said. "In the end, his suffering and his death, his silent blessing from his window at the end of Easter Mass, were for all of humanity an extraordinary and efficient testimony of Jesus Christ killed and resurrected, of the Christian significance of suffering, death and the force of salvation. "The days of his funeral became for Rome and the world days of extraordinary unity, reconciliation and opening of the soul to God," Ruini said.

John Paul beatified and canonized hundreds of martyrs during his 26-year papacy. In fact, of the 1,338 people he beatified, 1,032 were martyrs. Of the 482 people he elevated to sainthood, 480 were martyrs.

One of the people he canonized was Maximilian Kolbe, a Polish priest who traded his life for that of a married man at Auschwitz in 1941. He was beatified under normal procedures in 1971. John Paul canonized him in 1982, announcing that he would be venerated as a martyr. At the time some theologians questioned the move, since Kolbe didn't strictly die for the church.

Experts have raised similar questions concerning the case of John Paul, since some say the 1981 assassination attempt was provoked by John Paul's support of the Solidarity labor movement battling the communist government in his native Poland. That would make the motive of the gunman political, rather than religious.

Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Passing along Fr Pavone's letter on vacant seat

July 1, 2005

Dear Friends:

As you may have heard, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor has just
resigned her position. Justice O'Connor was frequently the deciding vote in 5-4
decisions. Please pray for Mrs. O'Connor and her family in this difficult time.

With her resignation, a Supreme Court vacancy has been created. We have every
confidence that President Bush will appoint a nominee who will exercise the
restraint necessary to judges to strictly apply the Constitution rather than write
new policies into it. Even so, we know that as you are reading this, the White
House is being flooded with calls regarding the vacancy. Even if President Bush
is predisposed to nominate a judge who recognizes the many levels on which Roe
was wrongly decided, it is extremely difficult for politicians to withstand pressure
that is heavily against their inclinations.

How important is this nomination? The Supreme Court is currently divided 6-3 in
favor of Roe. This is an opportunity to gain an anti-Roe seat on the Supreme
Court and replace Ms. O'Connor with a strict constructionist who will apply the
Constitution rather than rewrite it.

That is why I am writing to you now. We need as many pro-lifers as possible to
contact the White House about the vacancy. Please call the White House
Comment Line at (202) 456-1111 and tell President Bush that you strongly agree
with his view that Justices on the Court should not write law, but apply it. You
may also contact the President via e-mail at or by fax
at 202-456-2461. Because time is of the essence, it is best to use one or more of
these methods of communication, as mail will likely be too late to have a serious
impact on the decision. Please also forward this to all of your pro-life friends and
relatives. Any given call could mean the difference between protecting women
and children in three years and not protecting them for decades to come.

Fr. Frank Pavone
National Director,
Priests for Life

And so it begins...

Shortly after the announcement of the resignation of Sandra Day O'Connor, 'good Catholic' Kennedy made his statement, IMHO, threatening the President that if he nominates a constitutional advocate for the Supreme Court, he will be filibustered. What Kennedy meant was one who could not pass the 'litmus test' of being pro-RoeVWade, etc.

I think ANY nominee deserves a straight up or down vote, and am personally tired of the games played on judicial nominees.

"Free Speech" vs "Treason"

Eight grade Civics class lesson learned long ago, never forgotten:

Every Right has a Corresponding DUTY.
My rights End where Yours Begin....

Are those my age not remembering this basic lesson?

Have those younger never learned it?

Father Corapi goes one further, but I remember having been taught this also, after hearing it from him. Sometimes the 'rights' people claim are not really rights at all, but LICENSE....

3. Departure from normal rules or procedures: freedom, liberty. See restraint/unrestraint.
4. Excessive freedom; lack of restraint: dissoluteness, dissolution, libertinism, licentiousness, profligacy. See restraint/unrestraint.

Freedom vs. License: Father Corapi: Freedom is not, "being able to do whatever you want to do." That is license. If you have license, rather than authentic freedom, your house is built on sand and will collapse. Authentic freedom is the power to do what we ought to do; the power to choose the good, the true, and the beautiful........ Freedom has to be united with truth. There is no freedom outside of the truth: No authentic human freedom outside of the truth. "If you are truely my diciples, you will abide in my word. You will know the truth, and the truth till make you free."

So when is 'freedom of speech' really license to commit treason?

I was so very angered by Dick Durbin's words that I had to postpone writing about it.

"If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control. You would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime -- Pol Pot or others -- that had no concern for human beings."

I do not think Senator Durbin has any idea of history, nor of what those people he named DID to those in their 'care'. Either that, or he has been reading revisionist history!

I read of the treatment of our men in WWII in the Pacific by the Japanese, in Germany by the Nazis, and later in Korea by the North Koreans and Vietnam by the VietCong who were captured as prisoners of war (and civilians, also) and there is NO comparison or even NEAR comparison to what our men have gone through. We also do not have mass graves anywhere with hundreds of people tossed or ordered into the pits.

I have spoken to men that served in Nam and I have read biographies of some of the POWs that have returned. Senator Mc Cain is one of them.
We had at least one right here in WIS.

I remember the antics of Jane Fonda and John Kerry et all from that era, and often thought that they belonged in prison, tried and convicted of treason for what they said and did back then. I now listen to people like Durbin, Kennedy, Pelosi, and others, and think that they are giving 'aid and comfort' to the enemy more blatantly than any in the Nam times.

When does their rhetoric, their 'freedom of speech' turn into Treason? We are at war. Whether or not you agree with it, we ARE at WAR. The enemy reads what is said here, just as we do.

Close Gitmo? NO.

Give a date for withdrawal? NO.

Why not just hand them our entire plan and say ya go, guys... beat us. Take over the world.

We have a right to free speech, but that free speech ends when the lives of our men/women in the military are endangered by our words (including Churchill from Denver...) Those who are not thrilled with Bush need to learn to guard their mouths and to shut up. Voicing their unhappiness about the fact that we are at war is one thing, but some of the things that are said in the name of that 'freedom' and the places those things are said are beyond the pale. When LICENSE is used instead of freedom of speech, dangerous territory is entered into.

 n 1: a crime that undermines the offender's government [syn: high
treason, lese majesty]
2: disloyalty by virtue of subversive behavior [syn: subversiveness,
3: an act of deliberate betrayal [syn: treachery, betrayal,

Testimony of a Chinese Priest

We are only beginning to see some evidence of coming persecution for Christians in our country, but I am convinced that it is coming. I can get into that more in future musings. Right now, I would like to direct you to an article about a young Chinese atheist Communist who found the Church in a land that you can be killed or imprisoned for being Christian. But he went further, and has been ordained a priest.

Wonderful story. THOUGHT Provoking story. What so many here take for granted, he lives joyfully.........

SPECIAL REPORT: From Communist Militant to Underground Priest

Father Bao's China Odyssey

BEIJING, JUNE 27, 2005 (Zenit) - Conversions to Christianity, along with consecrated vocations, are increasing in China, says AsiaNews.

Despite incessant atheist propaganda and the lack of religious freedom, many young people are reportedly looking into Christianity out of curiosity -- and some are joining the Catholic faith.

A survey conducted by the Academy of Social Sciences in Beijing showed that over 60% of students in Beijing and Shanghai are interested in Christianity, according to AsiaNews.

At a time when China's Communist Party is going through a crisis of identity -- few people still believe in Maoist ideals -- many members of the party are taking interest, albeit secretly, in religion and the Christian faith.

Below is a personal story reported by AsiaNews. It tells of the conversion of a Communist Party militant, a university student in the country's northern region. (The names and geographic places in the story are undefined for security reasons.)

Story continued here.

God bless him on his journey. God bless you on yours!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Cause for Canonization of JPII opened

I have been reading in many places, and watching on news, but had not had a chance to write about it. But the cause for canonization is officially open for John Paul II now. They will have a LOT of writing to sort through, including things he wrote before he was ordained a priest. I don't envy them that job...

The official site is in Italian, but by scrolling down, one can find a ... poorly translated perhaps, English version, and by clicking on the appropriate flags, can find more in English.

Other news articles about this can be found here and here, and here.... how's that for an interesting way to hyperlink websites?
And from the news piece, this prayer:

the prayer approved by the vicariate of Rome to implore the intercession of Servant of God John Paul II.

"O Blessed Trinity. We thank You for having graced the Church with Pope John Paul II and for allowing the tenderness of your Fatherly care, the glory of the cross of Christ, and the splendor of the Holy Spirit, to shine through him. Trusting fully in Your infinite mercy and in the maternal intercession of Mary, he has given us a living image of Jesus the Good Shepherd, and has shown us that holiness is the necessary measure of ordinary Christian life and is the way of achieving eternal communion with you. Grant us, by his intercession, and according to Your will, the graces we implore, hoping that he will soon be numbered among your saints. Amen."

God bless!

Mark Fuhrman book available

Mark Fuhrman's book Silent Witness The Untold Story of Terri Schiavo's Death
is out, and I have it ordered. I found this as the one that cost the least so far.

Mark's book was finished before the autopsy was done. That autopsy did not tell us anything new, but DID prove that 'heart attack' and 'bulimia' were not the cause of Terri's collapse, just as I have said multiple times over the years, and as many others have pointed out repeatedly. It also does NOT tell us what the cause was, and is not closed. If new evidence comes in, it will be examined.

I am still waiting for Cheryl Ford's also to come out, and hope it is soon.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

John Paul II Beatification Process Begins


Ruini was interrupted repeatedly by applause as he read a lengthy testimony to John Paul, tracing his life from his birth in 1920, through his years as a priest and bishop in communist Poland to his globe-trotting papacy.

"Any words that I can now add ... seem superfluous, so great and universal is the knowledge of him and so profound and unanimous the conviction of his saintliness," Ruini said. "We ask the Lord, with all our heart, that the cause of beatification and canonization that has begun this evening reaches its completion very soon."

End quote



Yesterday, I went to the store and got the needed ingredients to make one of my soups.

I LOVE soup. I make good soup, too. Comes from making it for a large family, and then my own family over the past many years....

My kids love them. I have no real recipe, just go by what I have and what I want at the moment. But I had no veggies left. I had a big soup bone for beef broth, so that is what I made.

It literally takes me all day to make soup, because I simmer that bone/meat/onions for HOURS. Sometimes overnight. And I seldom use any canned vegetables (occasionally green beans and /or corn). Tomatoes.... or tomato soup or juice is probably the only 'always canned' part of my soup....Sometimes I put in rutabaga and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I put in some cabbage, sometimes I don't. I always have a 'base' of celery, tons of onions, some potatoes and carrots. Also occasionally put in turnip and parsnips.

Some marjoram, thyme, basil, oregano, salt, pepper... what ever I have handy in that line...

Sometimes I use beef, sometimes chicken, occasionally ham bone (only for pea or navy bean soup) or ... for awhile, turkey bones.... though that is NOT my favorite!

But I have never mastered the 'SMALL' amount.

No matter how hard I try, my 12 qt pan ends up full.

I love my soup. My kids love my soup. And now, THEIR kids love my soup!

If I have not seen them for awhile, and I have made a new batch...all I have to do is tell one, and the word spreads. They come with or without bowls to take some home.

I have not called them just yet... but if I don't call soon... I will be eating soup for the next seven days, morningnoonandnight..... sort of takes the joy out of it, ya know?

Sort of like Love. Real Love. Committment Love. Choice love. Lay down your life for another love.... not sexual, infatuation luv... Real Love....the love that says "I want you in Heaven" love...

The more you have, the more you need to give some away....or it sort of takes the JOY out of it, ya know?

I think I'll call my kids .....

Monday, June 27, 2005

The Story of Theresa and Joseph

Theresa and Joseph are our Confirmation names, and are what I am using in this story. I do not want to harm my spouse in any way, nor my children.

Unknown to me, as we prepared to marry, there were lawyers meeting across the country, preparing to make it very easy for one person to destroy what we were trying to put together. Having succeeded already in California to 'sell' the idea to then Gov. Ronald Reagan, as we said our vows June 27, 1970, the laws began changing across the nation.

In our immediate family, the first evidence of these changes to 'NO FAULT" divorce was felt in our family as Joseph's father announced to his mother that he "did not love her anymore. It's nothing you did, nothing you said, I just don't love you anymore." With that, divorce entered our family and its effects in the adult children, and in the young pre-teen have been felt from that time on.

As I watched my husband hurt so badly, I felt confident that he would never do this to his family, as his anger at his father was palpable. Yet, just barely eight years later, he suddenly 'had to talk to his Dad', and a few weeks later used the same EXACT words to tell me, that he also did not love me. A second generation, victim to the new no fault unilateral divorce laws.

We had worked together through infertility, had adopted two children, and then agreed to try one more time to conceive a child with a different doctor. The son who was born as a result was not even ten months old at the time. Our oldest had JUST turned seven. I could NOT believe this was happening, and fell apart, begging him to stay. He did agree to counseling, and we stayed with the counselor through the diagnosis of alcoholism, and beyond. He also saw one himself, who told him that the diagnosis was correct. And a third, who said, he saw many 'red flags', but "until he admits there is a problem, there is no problem.... " Joseph heard only the last four words.

The first signs of that beginning could easily be traced to after his parent's separation, as he gradually began to drink daily, then more each day, with many changes resulting in both of us.

I went to our pastor, who was beside himself by the sudden number of his parishioners described by him as "good, practicing Catholics, involved in the Church" coming to him—he said that at that moment, there were twelve other families, all from our side of town alone who were going through this. He was supportive, even helping on occasion financially with a temporary loan to tide us over when car repairs, etc came up unexpectedly. But he had no words of hope, no way to help us, and did not offer to speak to Joseph alone or with me. He knew from the others it would not make any difference. He reassured me of MY position in the Church, however. And, later, I remembered that he had NEVER ONCE suggested the 'divorced, separated, and widowed' group that had begun in our area.

I had two attorneys tell me to 'leave your religion at the door' when I told them that I was Catholic and did NOT want this to happen. My Godfather, also a Catholic Lawyer, told me the same thing.

The man I hired was Catholic, and understood, but clearly told me that there was nothing I could do to stop it, but that I could say whatever I wanted to say in court.

When last minute changes were requested regarding the custody of the children, my attorney told him that I could easily be convinced of them if Joseph called off the hearing that very day and checked into a treatment center of his choosing, and stayed with it and the after care. The papers were signed 'as is', with me being granted sole custody. I don't think Joseph realizes to this day that he chose the current beer over his marriage, his wife, and... his children.

The Judge had already stated as he came into the courtroom that he WAS going to grant divorce today, as 'this has gone on long enough'. He'd heard not one word of testimony. Later, when asked under oath, I clearly stated this marriage was NOT irreconcilable, and that I did not want a divorce.

The strongest Catholics would pray for marriage healing, all the while also reminding me that it takes two, that God may have something better in store for me, that God never closes a door without opening a window, and that God forgives even divorce. And there were many who told me that if I really loved Joseph, I would let him go, get on with my life, because I would want HIM to be happy no matter where he was, or whom he was with.

I was told that some had sought counsel with Spiritual Directors and prayed, and "God told me I could get a divorce". My response was, after doing 'word searches' with a Catechism, Bible and concordance on 'love, marriage, divorce, covenant, faith, and forgiveness":

"But God hates divorce! He is a witness to our Covenant, and remarriage is adultery! God doesn't change, and isn't man who lies. And he tells us to remain single or be reconciled!"

They would say "Well, God may have called YOU to that, but He told ME I could get a divorce."

I reminded them that my name does not appear anywhere in any version of any Bible, and that Jesus said it, not me.

I watched as one after another of our friends and acquaintances divorced and married someone else. I was slowly becoming an enigma, and many thought I was indeed, nuts.
A relative has married out of the Church to a man divorced several times already, and another relative has told me 'but this one will last'. Some are upset with me that I did not attend the ceremony, and that I have said she should not be receiving the Eucharist. I say it in Love, and fear of her salvation, but they believe that I am rigid, unhappy, and unforgiving.

Our Catholic counselor told me he had a Jesuit priest brother who had told him that if there is no marriage, there IS no marriage. He said my stand was ok for a while, but he hoped that I would be able to move on and not be in the same place ten years later.

I am, because… God has not changed!

I have been counseled by many priests over the years to seek an annulment and 'Trust the Holy Spirit" but that did not seem to be what God would have me do. I was told by one priest speaking to several of us that IF our spouses suddenly after five or ten years became mentally ill, we probably could not have an annulment as we had vowed in sickness and health, BUT that IF he became alcoholic, we would be able to obtain one because an alcoholic cannot love or commit to anyone.

I asked him if he accepted the disease concept of AA, and when he said "YES, good group", I asked him how MY vows were any different than those of the wife of a mentally ill person. "We are in sickness, poorer and worse right now, but my vows are still binding, aren't they?" He said he had never quite thought of it that way, and would have to give it some thought. I never saw nor heard from him again.

I have found only ONE couple that had been found to have a valid marriage with that verdict reached in about 1981, in our Diocese.

I waited for results as one soon to be second wife called a man's first wife and had a two-hour discussion about the first marriage, finally agreeing on what had happened, with the promise that his first wife would, indeed, cooperate in the process after all. The soon to be second wife had not even known these two as a couple! This was after he had told me HE trusted the Holy Spirit, and IF this were of God, the Tribunal would find the marriage Null. If not, then he would know that he could not marry again, while still making the plans to do so.

The verdict was "NULL" and returned from the Court of Second Opinion in agreement. That Tribunal is even more liberal than our own Diocese is.

I do not think that this is the work of the Holy Spirit, in all honesty! I have still not heard of ANY 'Valid' marital findings after nearly 20 years.

I would, if necessary, appeal to the Roman Rota, and not depend on either Tribunal's opinion.

Just over two years ago, again, three different priests in a week again encouraged me to seek an annulment and be free. I began to search online for forms, and told my children that I was praying about it.

I upset my son immensely. His comment was "MY DAD divorced my mother when I was a baby and has NEVER really been a father to me, and now my MOTHER wants them to say I am a B….!" Though I explained that this is NOT the case, he was very hurt.
(Our three children, though schooled in Catholic schools through High School at my expense, now hardly practice their Faith. All three have gone the world's way in co-habitation prior to one being in a Church marriage and one in a civil marriage, following the example of grandparents, and parent.)

Every letter I had ever seen that my friends had gotten as respondents from any Tribunal had referred to them as 'former spouses'.

That, in spite of the fact that God and the Church do not recognize Civil Divorce. Until a Tribunal finds a marriage to have been NULL from the very beginning, that marriage is to be considered valid and still in existence. All marriages are to be viewed as valid until proven Null.

We are not 'former' spouses, at all, unless, and until a finding of evidence points to a Null ruling.

When researching for forms used to begin the process, in one Diocese after another, I found I could not sign THESE forms any more than I could sign divorce papers so very long ago. I learned, in order to have our marriage examined, I must sign a form that said I believed my marriage to have been null from the very beginning, and swear to it.

I don't.

I can't.

I won't.

I would have to lie in order to do so.

I did not sign anything other than child custody and financial papers way back then, and I won't sign something as insidiously evil as those forms now.

My marriage is to be PRESUMED VALID until proof of the contrary is found. He is my spouse to this day, in the eyes of the Church and of God, to Whom I must answer some day. I realized that a petition for nullity was impossible for me when I read the forms to begin the process.

I have very good and strong Christians and Catholics telling me all the time that I need to get on with my life, that God does not call us to be unhappy, that perhaps I have peace in my decisions, but someone else who does NOT has the right to marry again. They now tell me that I fit under the category of the 'adultery exception' of Jesus' own words, since Joseph has married again civilly.

They quote one verse of Scripture to me to prove it, and discount, explain away Jesus' very clear words on the subject in four separate places-- Matt 5:31-32, Matt 19, Mark 10 and Luke 16:18. They often quote the words in 1 Cor 7:15 as their proof for me, saying that I am no longer bound, because God has called us to peace.

They forget to keep that verse in CONTEXT. It does not say that I can marry again, but only that I should let him go, and live in peace. Before that, very clearly, St Paul says differently from what they try to teach me…. And he says it is from the Lord, not him.

"To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)—and that the husband should not divorce his wife..
To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace. Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?" (1 Cor 7:10-16)

NO place in this passage does this change what Jesus had to say four times in the Gospels! And no place in His Words did He ever say that today's 'EXCUSES' that the US Tribunals use to find NULLITY were grounds for marrying again. Our Holy Father, JPII has clearly spoken out against this so often.

WHEN will our Church work toward saving the precious first marriages and speak TRUTH to her people?
"MY PEOPLE PERISH FOR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE", and so do His Peoples' marriages, families, and children.


"For the lips of a priest should guard knowledge, and men should seek instruction from his mouth, for he is the messenger of the LORD of hosts. But you have turned aside from the way; you have caused many to stumble by your instruction; you have corrupted the covenant of Levi, says the LORD of hosts, and so I make you despised and abased before all the people, inasmuch as you have not kept my ways but have shown partiality in your instruction."
And this again you do. You cover the LORD's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor at your hand. You ask, "Why does he not?"

Because the LORD was witness the covenant between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Has not the one God made and sustained for us the spirit of life? And what does he desire? Godly offspring. So take heed to yourselves, and let none be faithless to the wife of his youth.

"For I hate divorce, says the LORD the God of Israel, and covering one's garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So take heed to yourselves and do not be faithless."

You have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet you say, "How have we wearied him?" By saying, "Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delights in them." Or by asking, "Where is the God of justice?" (Malachi 2:7-17)

"Then I will draw near to you for judgment; I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow and the orphan, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the LORD of hosts.

"For I the LORD do not change; therefore you, O sons of Jacob, are not consumed. (Malachi 3: 1-6)

I , ..Joseph/Theresa.. take you, .... as my lawful (wife/husband).
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and cherish you,
--spoken in front of God, the priest and many witnesses 35 years ago today.

The gift of the sacrament is at the same time a vocation and commandment

for the Christian spouses, that they may remain faithful to each other forever, beyond every trial and difficulty, in generous obedience to the holy will of the Lord: "What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."[55]

To bear witness to the inestimable value of the indissolubility and fidelity of marriage is one of the most precious and most urgent tasks of Christian couples in our time. So, with all my brothers who participated in the Synod of Bishops, I praise and encourage those numerous couples who, though encountering no small difficulty, preserve and develop the value of indissolubility: Thus in a humble and courageous manner they perform the role committed to them of being in the world a "sign"--a small and precious sign, sometimes also subjected to temptation, but always renewed--of the unfailing fidelity with which God and Jesus Christ love each and every human being. But it is also proper to recognize the value of the witness of those spouses who, even when abandoned by their partner, with the strength of faith and of Christian hope have not entered a new union: These spouses too give an authentic witness to fidelity, of which the world today has a great need. For this reason they must be encouraged and helped by the pastors and the faithful of the church. ~~FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO Pope John Paul II 12/15/1981 (Sec 20)

Happy Anniversary!

Today, June 27, 2005.

Thirty five years ago, June 27, 1970.

Two people stood together and exchanged vows. They hoped for children. Eventually, through adoption and a fertility specialist, they became parents of three, two girls and a boy. Each unique, each special, each prayed for. Each wanted. Each loved uniquely.

Today, those children are adults. Two married with children of their own, one engaged to be married. Each told that marriage is indissoluble, til death do you part. Each knowing that one especially prays for them.

To the man I married, I remind you of something even older than those vows.

"143, 44..... 7, M".

God bless you!

Our vows:

I (M), take you (M) to be my wife.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you
all the days of my life.

I (M), take you (M) to be my husband.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you
all the days of our, my life.

grin... exactly as they were said that day, remember.....

A Movie

A woman, very ill. Divorced. A man there helps, and they have a rhythm between themselves with an undercurrent that is hard to understand, until you learn that...he is her husband.

He came over here because of her, they married, , they divorced, they remained friends.... he is there now, taking care of her in her final illness, baring a real honest to goodness miracle. They probably never should have parted.

Tonight, I was bored, and bought a movie on Video on Demand. As I watched this movie, I found myself in tears, several times. Remembering my own marriage, but thinking of that couple I have been watching for the past few days, as she nears death and he cares for her. He had tears in his eyes as he asked me how long she would probably be with us. It was hard to tell him, no way of knowing, but probably not long.... They have their own rhythm, even though apart by divorce now. They probably should never have parted.

I watched this movie and thought of so many of my friends and neighbors, that say things like... we love each other, but we just can't live together... etc. Before no fault divorce, they would have FOUND a way to live together til death parted them, as did my parents, grandparents, and so many couples before this day and age of 'freedom'.

Grass is greener on the other side of the fence, we think. Sometimes, the loneliness we find in marriage has NOTHING to do with the other person, yet we think that it does, and look everywhere but inside ourselves. The answer could be found there, just as it was in this movie. He had grown accustomed to keeping things inside based on his work (attorney-client privelege) and never gave a clue that he was lonely, etc. Temptation entered when he saw a gorgeous woman in a dance studio window, and he entered, learning to dance at first to just see her, but then, later, for himself. He still kept this to himself.... eventually, as do all secrets, it was found out.

This movie COULD have been horrible... but it wasn't, because he realized that what he had already was precious, and he did not want to hurt that. In the end, he taught his wife how to dance.........I cried almost through the entire movie. I knew how it would end, in a way, but I still have seen so many go the OTHER way, by taking that moment of temptation and giving into it. Then, the blaming begins, and what could have ended beautifully is torn to shreds.

Shall We Dance with Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon. Good. Very good.
A lesson in choosing the BEST instead of the grass on the other side of the fence.

"Right is still right if nobody is right,
and wrong is still wrong if everybody is wrong,"
--Archbishop Fulton J Sheen author of The Life of Christ .

The woman in the first part of this died today, July 13, 2005.
May she rest in peace.

May her family be comforted by His Presence. Keep her son safe. Draw them all close to you, Lord, and shelter them as they grieve. Give Wisdom to Dad as he raises their son alone, and keep the family close for the boy's sake, in Jesus Name, Amen.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

A Mother's Love..... is Never Ending

Some patients, you just never forget. I have several. There are a couple that I would prefer not to remember, but there are some that I never WANT to forget. Wendy is one.

W was a young pregnant wife and mother that went to school with my brother. We got a call that we were getting an admission, a pregnant lady with a headache. Didn't sound bad on the first bit of information we had. We thought she could go into our semi-private room. Then she came to the unit. The RN had gone down to supper. I took one look at her, and told the aides, etc to take her back out of the semi and put her into the private room. I asked someone to get her vitals, then went to the phone and paged the RN to return NOW to the unit. I told her, this girl looks like a head bleed, she belongs in ICU, not here, come back now.

RN came back, probably not too happy at missing the last half of her supper break, and took one look at Wendy and got on the phone to the admitting doctor, her OB/GYN. W had called him several times saying her head hurt, badly. Finally, her husband called and said something is wrong, and what are you going to do about it? They came to the ER, met her MD, and she was admitted. Pale, nearly unconscious, diaphoretic, she entered my life, her husband following. She was about a month and a half or so from due date. They had one child who was supposed to be thirteen months old when sibling came. They had JUST signed a contract for a home to be built for themselves.

Dr came to the floor, looking worried. This was beyond him, and he knew it. We dragged her, bed and all, to the Radiology Dep't downstairs for a CT Scan, and I stayed. By now, W was not conscious at all. No response to even painful stimuli. Nothing seemed to look different on the scan....until they added the dye.

WOW! Three huge bleeds showed up, and I think I remember a smaller fourth one. The history had already been spoken about while the first part of the scan was done without the dye... W had had malignant melonoma four or more years before, and three months prior to this admission, had returned from Bethesda after a check-up. She was told there that she may be the first to go into not only remission, but cured (five years, you know?)....

And there it was, in front of us on the screen. Tumors, bleeding, actively. Wendy was dying in front of us, and we could not do one single thing to help her. Nothing. Ever.

But an OB patient is NOT just one patient. Every OB patient is TWO patients--the Mom, and the baby. Suddenly, they remembered, as they got Wendy to ICU. Her grief stricken young husband now had only one hope. That W could hold on long enough to bring their little one into the world. W ended up on a respirator for a couple of weeks, but their baby was born healthy. Her husband now had two children under a year old, just over eleven months apart. Alone.

And, the contractor refused to release him from the contract for 'their' house.

I am reminded of Gianna Beretta Molla, a wife, mother, physician. Perhaps today, they could have saved both, but then, she had a choice. Kill the baby, save herself, or do whatever they could to save the baby, and THEN do her surgery, etc, to save hers. She chose the baby. Her baby survived, she did not. She is now a Saint, and her daughter is thrilled that she is living.

The other day, I was reminded of W again, as I was when I first heard about Susan Torres, a young wife, mother, as well as a working college graduate, vaccine researcher at NIH. There are some very powerful statements from her husband included in an article in USA TODAY. There are updates (and see the archives for more) available from the site.

Today, I was reminded not only of W, but of her husband, and her two children, now probably grown. God bless them. W hung on til her child was safe. May Susan be able to do the same for hers, as Gianna Molla did, and so many other beautiful mothers who would choose life.

And those husbands/fathers who stand by them. God bless.

At her beatification, the child, Gianna Emanuela spoke, and ended with a prayer:

"Thank you, mother, thank you for having given me life two times; in conception and when you permitted me to be born, deciding for my life. Intercede and help always all mothers and all families that come to you with confidence.

"Look at the mothers who truly love their children: how many sacrifices they make for them. They are ready for everything, even to give their own blood so that their babies grow up good, healthy and strong."



A Child's Anniversary

I remember the day we brought you home.

I remember the day you sang 'I'm a little teapot'...

I remember the day you lost your first teeth, that SEEMED like they had just come in...

I remember the day you were in the hospital, with IV's....

I remember your First Communion, your Confirmation...

I remember your Graduation....

I remember meeting Joe...

I remember meeting my grandson...

I remember the beautiful wedding dress, and the gorgeous girl wearing it...

I remember your vows to each other...

I remember meeting my granddaughter....

I remembered your anniversary this year... GRIN!!!