Monday, February 26, 2007

Family Burnout

Not sure who to credit with this prayertoon, but today's is really right on for me! With all that has been happening lately, it is exactly how I feel. It may also give you a clue as to why I have not been faithful about my blog. Sometimes, it is best to wait, lest one say too much, too harshly. The arrival of this Prayertoon today gave me a better way to say what I have been wanting to say.

I had been struggling with a big decision to move. It took months for me to make up my mind, a lot of prayer, tears, and a real struggle. But I finally made the decision the end of December to actually move to Mom's. I had given my notice to my landlords, and was preparing to do so by looking at what needed to be packed away, what would be kept out.

Then, the sibs did it again. Unbelievable!! I did not even have my foot out the door, and the back biting, etc began again!!!

Please pray for Mom, for me, and for my family. At this time, I will not be moving, having rescinded my termination of my lease, and signed a new one.

I am not certain how much longer Mom will be able to stay on her own, and do not think that the three of nine siblings have any idea of what they have done. One sibling told me that I should just move in 'temporarily' to 'see how it goes for Mom' but not move any of my things with me, so that she 'can still have visitors'. that every single day can be one of .... maybe today, I will have to move again... maybe today they will cause enough strife once more....

That sibling also suggested that if I am moving in, I should 'quit your job, and we will pay you to take care of Mom'.....right, so I can live under scrutiny and constant fear of being 'fired'... and having Mom be alone once again....

No one has really ever stayed over night since LONG before I moved out three years ago, and in the time I was there (a little over a year) only one grandchild stayed only a few nights when he was asked to leave his home!

Same sibling told me that with so many siblings, "each could take a night to stay with Mom".

Defeats the purpose!!! Mom needs STABILITY and ROUTINE, not more uncertainty. And if we cannot get all of the siblings to sign up to give her eye drops for her cataract surgery, HOW DOES ANYONE THINK THAT WE WILL GET PEOPLE TO SPEND THE NIGHT FOR.... possibly, years!!

Mom is healthy. It is her short term memory that makes things hard! It is her LONELINESS that she was thinking of when she asked me MULTIPLE times to move... even though I told her repeatedly why I did not think I could do it, and why (sibling interference/gossip).

I do not understand people. Prior to my giving my notice Jan 1, my brother told me that he had spoken to each sibling about this move! He said.. "they are ALL ok with it, and ALL happy about you moving in with Mom". I said....... ALL??? Somehow, I just don't believe it......something tells me not!!!!"

I was right, though it took ALMOST until I was ready to move for the other shoe to drop..........

Pray for us. Pray for Mom. Pray for dysfunctional families that shoot themselves in the foot, and use 'Mom's desires' as their excuse to create havoc, in spite of knowing that Mom has increasing dementia, with more and more short term memory loss.

God bless!