Life
Sometimes, life gets complicated and things happen that take up time.
As a result, I have had really little time to read my favorites, or any new places for quite awhile. Nor time to keep up on my blogging.
My journey continues.
This particular journey 'officially' began on the same day that my son and his wife had their first visit with their MD after learning that their child was on her own life's journey. I had met them for supper, to celebrate. During the meal, I had to excuse myself twice, and the evidence that something was very wrong was not mentioned by me to them. I did not want them to worry, and I did not want to 'rain on their parade'. Two days later, I was in the hospital. And the next day, as I was being wheeled from the colonoscopy toward the next place, I was told that I was on my way to have a CT Scan... any nurse knows... this is NOT good news.
Monday was my first three month check up with the oncologist, and he says all is well. The tumor marker and liver function tests were not back yet when I saw him on Monday. He told me he only calls if the news is not good, and did not expect to have to call me...
(I am going to check in with them ONLY because my phone was not functioning due to tracfone goofiness after they 'had to replace' my working phone. What should have taken less than 48 hours took five days!)
But every ache, every oddity, sometimes even every similarity...still causes me to pause....and wonder... and begin to tell Him that I CHOOSE to trust Him.
Thursday, I was invited to go to the second ultrasound my son's wife was scheduled to have...and then out to eat with them after. It did not dawn on me, the similarities of the two events until I was typing an email to friends. It was then that I realized that the LAST time we'd had dinner together after one of their MD app'ts was that night that started my lastest journey. I asked for prayer for silly me...and silly fears.
At my son's house, after the ultrasound, just before we left to go out, I was JUST starting to mention those silly thoughts when my daughter in law told me where they wanted to go to eat...and I paused. I verbalized my thoughts...she asked if I wanted to go somewhere else. I told her no... we'd go there, because it was silly not to.
She said... "it isn't going to happen again... but if it does, you will NEVER go to P*****s again!" .... she is right. But for that day, I was going to get back on the proverbial horse once more.
Well, we made it through the meal, I made it home, and all is well, PTL.
Life changes. Sometimes, for good.
While I was ill, my children's father asked each of our children how I was after he learned about my illness from Civil wife.
She was told by dd#1 (KNOWING Civil wife would tell Dad--ah, yes, this is a self-imposed role dd#1 chose long ago as a young child of divorce. Keep Dad informed of everything whether he wants to know or not... sigh... even when I don't particularly want him to know... grin).
Civil wife had others praying for me (dd#1 was told "tell your Mom not to worry, I did not tell anyone her last name"...heheh... no, I am sure she didn't... as it is the same one she uses...lol).
I am relegated to being spoken about, not spoken to. I have always found that to be an interesting phenomenon. (That and the fact that my name apparently was changed without my consent to 'EX'... or "THE EX")
For years, when we are alone, my children's father speaks to me nicely.
In company, I am usually either ignored or spoken to brusquely, sometimes rudely. I do not recall him EVER speaking to me in the presence of civil wife other than when I say something like 'Good bye'.. and he must also say it, sometimes after her hint to him...
But now, at our grandchild's birthday party, he entered the room, looked at me and asked... "Are you ok? ...So you don't need chemo or anything? ...That's good!... it was a two way conversation, in front of our daughters, granddaughter, civil wife and their daughter. But it was a conversation that included only the two of us.
There were two more 'brief' but definite conversations later, about his physicals every two yrs, his resistance to having a colonoscopy ...and I encouraged him strongly to do so (as any wife should/would). He told me he will this time, in Jan, when he is again due. We shall see.
But this would not have happened had I not been on this journey.
God works in strange ways, His wonders to perform.
Life changes. Sometimes for better.
My job at the prison is finished.
He always has a way of telling me rather quickly that this is true. One day I am there, and then I am not.
I have been working at the prison since mid-March, 2006. Now they wanted to change my job to one I simply cannot do for many reasons. First, what I had been doing was to continue, but now I would also be part of the pilot program doing the job that one LPN does alone.
In my humble opinion, this is doing two people's work, and would add to my responsibilities. That by itself I would have handled in the past.
But it would also mean working with someone who has a very negative attitude, who splits co-workers with it, complains about other's work all the time, has the attitude that 'the LPN's' work for, not with her, and causes stress. That I can no longer handle.
I said no, and I explained why. At this stage of my life, after being a nurse for 35+ yrs, with the diagnosis I got this summer, I cannot handle the stress, and do not want to try. Stress is not good, not healthy, not something needed right now. Especially when I would also be doing two jobs in one.
I told her that I would rather go back to working the night shift elsewhere. (Remember, I am not an employee of the prison--I am an agency nurse who was working under contract there).
She has a job for me at the Abbey... beginning around Nov 1. Until then, she has night shift positions I can do.
The Abbey is much closer (less travel time, less cost for gas, etc, less wear and tear on my car)...
Night shift means more money per hour, also.
I have heard about the Abbey (the job entails helping fifteen retired priests) for a couple of years, and how much those who work there absolutely love it. It is very laid back, night shift, four nights per week.
I said YES before she even finished telling me about it!
God is good. Life changes. Sometimes for the Better.
God bless!
Labels: "An Attitude of Gratitude", Cancer, Family, Life
posted by WI Catholic @ 10/06/2007 11:31:00 PM
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