One great benefit about the internet is that you can finally learn that there are OTHERS out there who are learning and speaking out about some of the same things that you yourself are speaking out about.
In many years of yahooing in various Catholic groups, I made some friends who had also been affected by no fault forced, unilateral divorce where the respondent loses any and all rights to protect and save their marriage. Among them was one who had created a website with as many words of the Holy Father as she could find, including one I had been looking for. That included the news article where JPII blasted our US Tribunals for granting too many declarations of nullity.
From her site I had also learned about Judy Parejko, author of "Stolen Vows" and owner of another website of the same name. Judy was a Mediator in our Wis court system who saw the truth...that there were MANY of us being forced into a divorce we did not want, even being threatened with contempt and losing our kids if we did not acquiesce and accept it, and 'get on with our lives'. When she tried to help some couples to reconcile (and at times successfully), she was locked out of her own office.
Judy has done a lot of work and research on the subject, including transcribing the Transcripts from the annual meetings (1965 to 1973) of the National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws ( NCCUSL ) A national lawyers' group that promulgated the "model law" called the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act , and has traced it back even further to a group, National Association of Women Lawyers whose website brags about it.
The Uniform Divorce Bill
"The greatest project NAWL has ever undertaken" is the description given by committee chair Matilda Fenberg to NAWL's pioneering work to create a Uniform Divorce Bill. At the 1947 NAWL convention in Cleveland, it was voted to draft and promote a bill that would embody the ideal of no-fault divorce. A draft prepared by Fenberg, working with NAWL past presidents Helen M. Cirese and J. Helen Slough, was approved at the 1952 convention in Berkeley, California.
Although the National Conference of Commissioners of Uniform State Laws had attempted to produce such a bill since its founding in 1892, Fenberg was informed that the Conference could receive bills or suggestions only from the ABA. Fenberg-who had been the first woman student at Yale Law School in 1919-then undertook a campaign to convince the ABA to create a Family Law Section. Three years later, in 1955, the section was approved. Fenberg was appointed chair of the Subcommittee on Migratory Divorce. In 1960 the bill was introduced to the ABA, which sent it to the Conference.
In 1965, the Conference commenced the task of drafting, and in 1970 produced, the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act (amended in 1971 and 1973). By 1977, the divorce portions had been adopted by nine states. Following this, the momentum for uniformity waned, but the ideal of no-fault divorce became the guiding principle for reformof divorce laws in the majority of states.
But as I continued to learn, I also found that this kind of divorce was even more insidious than this, and I learned this initially from Judy Parejko's research and friendship, and other places on the web. This kind of divorce was the law of the land in Russia after 1917 Revolution.
From Bill Wood's testimony to theWays and Means Committee:
Statement of Bill WoodFC-8 Hearing on Waste, Fraud, and Abuse July 17, 2003TESTIMONY FOR THE [US] WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE
The planned destruction of the family was part of the communist agenda from its inception by Karl Marx and Frederic Engels. It became government policy in the USSR in about 1917. It was so successful in the USSR that it threatened to destroy society in the USSR. Curiously, while in the 1940s the USSR took steps to repair the damages its family-hostile policies had caused, American communists imported the Soviet agenda for the planned destruction of the family into the USA. It has been and continues to be promoted by left-leaning liberals in the West ever since.
When it was determined that this type of class warfare directed at the family was a complete failure, the Soviets worked quickly to restore the traditional nuclear family in the 1940’s. Shortly after this, the NAWL (National Association of Women Lawyers) began their push for adopting these failed Soviet policies in America. America’s version of “family law” has adopted much of the early Soviet failed version of class warfare, while adopting new and more insidious Gramscian versions with gender, cultural, and social warfare components.
Both Judy Parejko and Michele Gauthier collaborated on an article that also speaks to my concerns for the past many years...the absence of help and assistance for those who are being forced into divorce as Catholics.
Stephen Baskerville has long been speaking out/writing about the effects of this legal denial of rights to half of every couple, the Respondents in at least 80% of forced unilaterl 'no-fault' divorce, including his recent Crisis magazine article, but he has authored MUCH more on the subject over the years. Defending Holy Matrimony also has many of his articles included on the website
Many non-Catholic groups have also been fighting this for years, including Marilyn Conrad's group Covenant Keepers, Inc . Long ago, individual members of this then beginning group helped me to maintain hope and sanity. On her website, Marilyn mentions that she has been on
TBN's program Back on Course with Gavin and Patti Macleod (Love Boat Captain) whose remarriage I was fortunate enough to attend. It gave me MUCH hope, and they have helped many over the years to stay away from divorce, or to reconcile as they did.
Now, today, there is another article on the web, citing both Stephen Baskerville's latest Crisis article and quoting Judy Parejko, by Albert Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. His ending thoughts in his article say very clearly what many of us also wish to say to our Catholic priests... why are we not hearing TRUTH from the pulpits?
Our Liturgy (Mass) has three cycles, and over the years, I have really looked and listened. The Gospel reading comes up ONCE in the three year cycle, Ordinary Sunday 27, Cycle B. On those Sundays, I wait with baited breath for the subject to be brought up in the Homily, sadly, not once. I take a poll of family members and friends, and simply ask them what the topic was that day, and again, sadly, they tell me that it is anything BUT the topic of the Gospel. Which Gospel is it? Mark 10:2-12 with the option of adding verses 13-16 most often read and used as the topic for the homily.
While pastors and priests have forsaken preaching the subject from the pulpits, many have gone astray. Scripture says "My people perish for lack of knowledge". How important does Jesus Himself, the Author and Giver of Life think this topic is? He PERSONALLY is quoted in four specific places in the New Testament on the subject... Matt 5:31-32 , Matt 19:3-9, Mark 10:2-12, and Luke 16:18. God Himself is quoted as HATING DIVORCE in Malachi 2:16 from the entire section of verses 13-16. And finally, in 1Cor 7:10-11 Paul tells us that the Lord Himself tells us to remain single or be reconciled. Many try to dismiss this with later verses in that section, however, no place does Paul refute what the Lord says... he simply says that we are called to live in peace.
Finally, there is a petition asking our Bishops to help. You don't need to be Catholic to sign it, and I implore you to read it and consider it. God bless!
"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."
Thomas Jefferson
"Right is right, even if no one is right.
Wrong is wrong, even if everyone is wrong."
Bishop Fulton J. Sheen
Our vows:
The groom says:I (...), take you (...) to be my wife.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
The bride says:I (...), take you (...) to be my husband.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
