There are two themes in
Mary's book. One is owning our choices and actions, and forgiving ourselves as well as others. The second is the need for those in the Adoption Triad to have answers to lifelong questions. That theme is the basis for the title, a promise she made to her firstborn and to herself as she was forced to leave her shortly after birth.
Having lived in the same era, I remember young girls in school 'disappearing' and later returning later with no explanation, while rumors swirled. No one spoke about where they had been, or why. I remember that girls were told to leave their child behind for adoption... or don't come home. I remember thinking that people seemed to care more about what neighbors thought than they did their own children.
I remember when things began to change, as one of my own friends went to a 'Home' then returned with her infant to marry her boyfriend. They are still together forty years later. I supported another friend's decision to stay in college and keep her child, though the 'experts' told her she was selfish, and trying to 'make up for the lack of love she'd felt as one of a large family'.
Later, as adoption became a very real event in our lives, I grappled with the fact that there were two sets of 'other parents' out there, and told my children that should they ever need to search, I would help them in any way I could.
God's timing and Guidance led Mary to eventually keep her promise to her firstborn, just as He eventally led us to Mary. Having worked on changing State Laws here, she'd also learned to help others with the help she had been given.
Mary gave us more than just the information we needed to end our searches. She also gave me wisdom and reassurance in my inevitable worries and fears.
Because there is the second theme (of forgiveness), this book will be of interest even to those not involved in adoption. It is a lesson that many of us can relate to, and also need to learn.
Labels: Adoption, Adoption Search, Adoption Triad, Birthmother
