I have been watching the coverage of your visit here, and listening to as much of what you have said to us as I have been able to. There have been a few times that I could not catch it live, and tried to catch it later on EWTN, and there have been a few events that I missed due to my schedule.
I have beamed with happiness just as so many others; I have wished that I could be in your path, and receive your blessing, just as so many other have.
Today I watched the truly beautiful Mass in St Patrick's, and I had tears for several reasons. The sheer majesty of that Mass with the beautiful music was the cause of many of them. But then there was another side that brought me to write this open letter.
Cardinal Egan, LONG ago did a tape that I heard, and lost, and wish that St Anthony would help me find. Sigh... there are quite a few things that I am hoping he helps me to find. But that tape says so much that we NEED TO HEAR MORE OFTEN.
He was Bishop Egan then, and the topic was what has really changed since Vatican II as far as Nullity is concerned. He said NOTHING changed, in actuality!!
But then why do the Tribunals in the US now use so many ways to destroy marriages that are far beyond what was taught, under the 'guidance' of men like Fr Wrenn? Fr Catoir?
I loved that Bishop back then, but I have really heard nothing more of note from him since. And that saddens me immensely.
Nearly three years ago I read on Zenit about a group in Italy that is supported by a Bishop, and started by a woman named Maria Pia Campanella.
Several times in my blog I have quoted JPII's words:
But it is also proper to recognize the value of the witness of those spouses who, even when abandoned by their partner, with the strength of faith and of Christian hope have not entered a new union: These spouses too give an authentic witness to fidelity, of which the world today has a great need. For this reason they must be encouraged and helped by the pastors and the faithful of the church.
~~FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO Pope John Paul II 12/15/1981 (Sec 20)
I told our story here.... and I have repeatedly spoken out against no fault, forced, unilateral divorce. I have posted our Vows in many places. I am a STANDER (stand in the gap for my spouse and my marriage until reconciliation or death parts us)..
So why do I write to you today, as a daughter to her Papa?
While watching the Mass this morning, I saw a twice divorced man in an irregular third marriage
go forward to receive the Eucharist, and my heart broke once again.
(I AM A SINNER, and have at times also gone to Communion when I knew in my heart that I should not have done so...forgive me, for I know that God views all Sin as evil, not just this man's... HOWEVER, I try to repent, turn away from my sin. This man cannot turn away as long as he remains in a third irregular marriage... True, I cannot judge his heart, but we are called to judge actions as part of the Spiritual Acts of Mercy--to admonish the sinner!)
That said, this is what is in my heart...
How long, Oh Lord?? How long Holy Father?? How long do your people have to watch Valid marriages being left behind, forgotten, mocked, told to get on with our lives, told we are bitter, unforgiving, rigid? How long are we to be told that WE are the ones who must change, and watch the Church speak with loving 'compassion' to the husbands and wives of our youth about living as brother and sister with a second 'mate' for the sake of THEIR children while OURS are shuttled between two homes, losing their Faith, struggling to trust enough to marry, struggling to learn how to live the same vows which were taken by their parents, then tossed aside by one, and again, by our US Tribunals?
How long before OUR children are remembered with true compassion, and the words that are needed to be heard are spoken from our pulpits?? Instead of the relativistic 'feel good' things that are spoken, relativism and a spirit of 'false compassion' are fed to the faithful, who are PERISHING from the lack of knowledge of Truth? How long must we wait to hear TRUTH, instead of crumbs from the false religion of today's society? HOW LONG DO we have to hear that PRIESTS are telling ONE partner that they can divorce, while refusing to HEAR the one who does not want it??? How long will 'Spiritual Directors' continue to contribute to the enemy's design on our Sacrament?
HOW LONG BEFORE WE HEAR, instead, Words of Truth, and Life, from the mouth of Jesus Himself, from God Himself, and from St Paul? Words that speak of the indissolubility of Marriage? Words that speak of remaining single or being reconciled with the spouse of your youth in order to bring up holy children??
How long before the words to the Rota spoken by JPII and by yourself are enforced in our Church? How long do we watch as an unfaithful spouse divorces us, marries civilly, then goes to the Tribunals and 'gets' their 'annulment' so that they can 'marry again, for the first time', in our Church? Are you aware that there are many who teach HOW to get that 'annulment', but FEW TEACH that you must prepare for a Valid verdict? Instead, 'Catholic singles' groups welcome those who divorce with no regard to the very real possibility that a very real marriage is still in effect, and the persons in that group should be living their vows.....
How long do we have to listen to false teachers speaking of the Internal Forum for those who don't want to go to the Tribunal for whatever reason? I am tired of relativism in this area of life also!
I am a 'first wife'. I am in all actuality, the ONLY wife!!
I have no doubt of the validity of my marriage. My children were even told by the civil wife of my children's father (MY HUSBAND in the eyes of God and the Church) that they cannot receive the Eucharist BECAUSE in the eyes of the Church, they are not married!
Yet I am alone. I have raised my children alone. I see them struggle in their marriages, with the same temptation to end it with easy no fault divorce, or to learn a new way not taught to them by their parents ... or one set of grandparents. I see them only partially living out their Faith in Church attendance, or not at all.
I hear my mother, widowed, tell me that as hard as it is for her, "it is worse to have been divorced and have it never end..." For she is free to make her choices for her future, and she knows that I am not. She understands, though siblings do not, friends do not, and fellow Catholics do not.
"Go get an annulment!" "Go join a singles group! Meet someone! Get on with your life"! "God would want you to be happy! He would never expect you to be alone for the rest of your life..."
"Trust the holy spirit! Petition the Tribunals!"... who write to us about our 'former spouse' even before any papers are filed, when they are supposed to be supporting and assuming that civil divorce means NOTHING in our Church, and therefore, we are still MARRIED no matter what mankind may say in their civil divorce courts. Trust them? When in order to petition, we have to sign a form that says we believe our marriage to be NULL??? I wonder if the Holy Spirit is the one being heard in our Tribunals for the past 30+ years...
Who will correct the young Canon Lawyers who honestly believe that those "Baby Boomers" have NO IDEA what marriage means, and cannot have a Valid marriage, that there is 'no hope for us', as I was told.... Someone taught them this falsehood! Who will stand up for us and defend EVEN those of us who were forced into divorce court against our will, with no due process, no right to defend our marriage, no right to stand on our religious beliefs in a process that is evil and probably also unconstitutional? Who will correct the thinking that a VALID marriage will never GET to a civil divorce court???
MANY, MANY, MANY do!
WHERE are our ST THOMAS MORE's?? WHERE are our ST JOHN FISHER's?? Who will correct the false teachings of those who have joined the Civil courts to further destroy our Sacrament through the Tribunals?
Everything is the opposite of what God says in Malachi! Everything goes against what Jesus says in Matt 19:3-9, Mark 10:2-12, Matt 5:31-32, Luke 16:18!! Everything goes against what Paul wrote in 1Cor 7:10-16!!
This IS the time of 2 Timothy 4:3-4!!
I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom:
preach the word, be urgent in season and out of season, convince, rebuke, and exhort, be unfailing in patience and in teaching.
For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own likings, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander into myths.
HOW LONG before we hear the TRUTH spoken and enforced?
Shortly after you became Pope Benedict XVI, I emailed you begging you to save OUR marriages, first marriages, first families. Have compassion, REAL compassion on those of us who have been betrayed, yet remain faithful. Those of us who have asked for forgiveness, and given forgiveness, and stand firmly for the Sacrament and our Vows. Compassion for OUR children...
From a daughter to her Papa in Christ
Labels: "Stander", "Two Become One", Benedict XVI, Catholic, Covenant, Divorce, Forced divorce, Indissolubility, Marriage, No fault Divorce, Til Death Do Us Part, Unilateral divorce, Vows