A DRUG IS A DRUG IS A DRUG!!
A drug is a drug is a drug.
Repeat that:
A DRUG IS A DRUG IS A DRUG.
Got that yet?
Anyone addicted to ONE drug, will have problems with ANY drug that has the potential to addict. Hence, one addicted to Vicodin (Lortab, hydrocodone, etc) needs to stay away from any ALCOHOL, PERCOCET, Valium, etc... A DRUG IS A DRUG IS A DRUG.
Anyone going through any form of drug treatment is TOLD this. They don't always believe it, and they don't always follow the advice to stay away from any controlled drug, and from any form of alcohol.
I am tired of the "Victim" garbage that comes with the admission that one is addicted. Sorry, but one is not a victim. One has a choice to take that first pill, that first hit, that first drink, etc...or reaching out to someone in the 12 Step Program.
Patrick Kennedy's excuses may SOUND good, but Ambien is known to be one that can be addictive, habit forming. It is a Schedule IV controlled drug!
Alcohol is a DRUG. There is no alcohol that is less of a problem for those who are caught up in 'problem drinking' or addiction! A can of BEER is equivalent to a glass of wine, to a shot of liquor. Alcohol is alcohol is alcohol. It is a drug. A drug is a drug is a drug!!!
I had intended to write about this already yesterday, when I first heard about Patrick Kennedy's accident and the ensuing 'enabling' by the Capital Police. But my schedule did not allow me to get here to do it.
So today, on my way home from work, I hear bits and pieces of his statement, and then I decided that I would do it tonight, regardless. But then...I got home and heard Senator Kennedy's statement about how proud he is of his son's admitting his problem and going to get help...and I got ANGRY.
That man himself has his OWN problem with alcohol, stemming back almost as far as I can remember, including the night of July 19, 1969.
What is an enabler? I am, by no means, endorsing this website, because I know NOTHING about it other than this page, but strongly encourage those who love an addicted person to go and read the main section of this page!!! I have not checked ANYTHING on the two sidebars, so do not endorse anything other than this section on enabling...
Enabling is Very Often Part of Codependence
Any time you assist/allow another person to continue in their unproductive/unhealthy/addictive behavior, whether actively or passively, you are enabling!
Silence condones.
So even when you say nothing (such as ‘minding your own business’), you are enabling the behavior to continue.
Sometimes you say nothing out of fear — fear of reprisal, fear of the other person hating/hurting/not liking you; or fear of butting in where you don’t think you belong. Perhaps even fear of being hit... or worse!
snip...
Why Do You Enable?
You more than likely enable out of your own low self-esteem. You haven’t gained the ability to say no, without fear of losing the love or caring of that other person. People who learn ‘tough love’ have to learn that their former behaviors have been enabling, and that to continue in them would constitute allowing the other person’s pattern of behavior to continue... and to worsen!And now we have once again witnessed this enabling behavior. WHO??? And, you want to know how??
The Capital Police, who did NOT carry out the standards used on anyone else
(those of us not claiming to be a member of the US Gov't who 'is late for a vote'... )
by doing road tests usually done when drunk or impaired driving is suspected...and then gave him a ride HOME, instead of wherever they normally take impaired drivers.
Not to mention his father, other attorneys, staff, etc (whoever was involved in 'helping' him to make the decision to go back into treatment for his 'pain medication addiction'...??? Ambien is NOT a pain pill, people!) That is a 'trick' offered by most who are in trouble with a vehicle after DWI's... (Hurry up, get an assessment, get treatment, etc because it will look good on the record for the Judge if you do it voluntarily!! )
Oh, another enabler? That MD (or MD's) who prescribed those drugs to someone who has already admitted to addiction (as he did not so long ago!!)
Patrick Kennedy is just another addict. He is NOT special, does NOT deserve special treatment, accolades, or praise. He needs a DARN GOOD SPONSOR and the 12 Step Program where people are not impressed by his Daddy's last name, by his 'capital job' OR his Daddy's, by money, by fame...by anything reported on by the MSM.
He needs an Old Timer in the AA Program, who will tell it like it is, call a spade a spade, and make him LOOK AT HIMSELF, and help him to turn his life over to his Higher Power.
He needs those around him to let him face the full Consequences of his own behavior. (Same goes for ol Teddy boy... and the rest of the Kennedy clan) It is called "Reality Therapy", and sometimes, it is the ONLY WAY that they honestly begin recovery, finally.
Even scarier?
He claims he has NO recollection of getting up, getting into his car, driving, the accident, or the rest of what happened. BUT, he could remember what to say as soon as he got out of the car!
Alcoholics call this lack of remembering what you did a BLACKOUT... Bad sign. Red flag.
Get help, and stop making excuses, Patrick Kennedy.
Labels: AA/Alanon, Alcoholism, Codependence, Drug Abuse, Enabler, Recovery, Ven Matt Talbot
posted by WI Catholic @ 5/05/2006 06:24:00 PM
5 Comments:
My sentiments exactly.
The Kennedy's as well as the Clinton's kill people and get off scott free.
Most of our worst criminals today fall into these categories -- murderers who claim to be doctors, politicians who claim to be leaders who are in actuality sociopaths, and certain celebrities who are above the law and think they can do whatever they want.
We live in a sick society. These individuals may be "safe" for now, but unless they acknowledge there is a God,repent for their sins, and seek his forgiveness and mercy in this life, they will receive what is coming to them in the next life.
It's a matter of morals and most people in powerful positions have none.
Once people like me and others who actually recover from alcoholism - experience it because it is actually happening to us and then watch as it also works with others to whom WE in turn pass it on, the light bulb goes off and we can see clearly why it works. We can also gain insight into why others methods or half measures fail.
A man asked me to sponsor him a while back, last summer I think, maybe longer. We got together and he told me he was a heroin addict. I said fine, and continued to probe him about his history.
Nice enough guy. Lots of suffering. Truly in need.
But it came out that he really was not an alcoholic, but a drug addict. He was going to AA meetings because he was told that a drug is a drug us a drug, and that AA had a better track record than other Fellowships.
I had to turn him down.
I was looking for another person to sponsor, so it would have been easy to grab him for MY sake, but I swatted my ego away like a buzzing skeeter, and said I would not be a good sponsor for him.
He was disappointed; because he said I was the first person, he met since rehab who seemed to walk the talk and who really understood the Program. He had heard me speaking around and someone actually suggested to him that he find me for sponsorship. (I do not mind being "stalked" under such conditions) He said that he liked my "zeal". LOL. (My wife jokes about my so-called "zeal" and tells other AAs that her curse is living with a sober cartoon character, whatever that means) He looked so disappointed. He did not understand when I said, "I might kill you."
What I said to him came totally off the cuff, and it was the first time I had ever said it in these words, but I try to remember those words because I think they were put into my mouth at the right time, not so much for him to hear but maybe for me to hear.
I said, "Joe we may get along just fine. We could become great friends and maybe learn a lot from each other -- but at some point we are going to be sitting down at a table from one another, and I am going to be talking, and you are going to look at me, listen to me talk about my experience with booze and say to yourself " Holy Shit - this guy has absolutely no idea of what I am talking about" . You will be right - and you will be dead, Joe."
He did not get it then. I hope to God he got it finally.
There is no way that every human nook and every human cranny of a human being can be filled with the amount of unbreakable confidence and incredible trust that needs be placed, consciously and unconsciously, in another person, than what is required for that person to take the drastic and necessary steps it takes to recover from what ails him, if there is the slightest doubt that THIS man has walked one hundred percent in his shoes and has walked the same exact road as he.
Experience with working with others teaches this. Not Big Book theory and round robins at 12 & 12 meetings. Not rehab counselors. Not old-timers. Not hearing things at lots of meetings.
I have harmed my fair share of drug addicts with my own ignorance on this matter - been to their funerals - hugged their wives - cried with their mothers and kissed the foreheads of their little kids. But no more. I have done it too many times only being in this business eight years.
What I have just conveyed above comes from experience, which is only gained through action. Not through reading or listening.
Not by worshipping this Program, not be thumping these pages, not by becoming a Big Book attorney.
Only experience.
Peace,
Danny S
Danny S,
You speak like an Old Timer, and I am glad that you were here.
I speak like a nurse who worked the treatment programs, and who has the Alanon background to KNOW that those who walked the walk are the BEST ones to sponsor another.
It is why I strongly encourage those whose drug of choice is alcohol to go to AA, and those with Vicodin or Heroin or others to go to NA. Some need both.
But the public needs to know that it makes no difference to the body, in reality. A drug IS a drug, and an addiction to one can be replaced very easily by continuing to use any addictive substance, legal or not legal. And when one comes from a TREATMENT center (as he had done...) they need to be told that there, also.
Too many medical providers just don't get it, either, and continue to prescribe addicting meds when the person has already admitted/gone into treatment.
There is a dead member of our family as a result of this..in fact there are TWO who have died now as a result of their failed recovery.
One never accepted her dependency, and the family did not intervene until too late. The other had been in treatment LONG ago, admitted to drug problem... but family and others do not include 'beer' in the 'drugs' ... he died in a high speed chase after several DUI's... had actually stopped, and then took off again. He was younger than me... the other older, and took her own life. Hers was prescription meds compounded with alcohol.
An Old Timer (author of "How to Live Like a King's Kid", and "The Impossible Takes a Little Longer: The Triumphant Story of Victory Over Alcohol" and 'From the Goo to the Harold Hill) spoke at a couple of AA/Alanon Spiritual Program Retreats that Clarence and 'Amazing Grace' S. (He was story number 11 'The Home Brewmeister' in my older Big Book) started ... he and others there lamented the fact that there are few real 'rummies' left. That most today are dual addicted, and that they prefer sponsoring the true Alcoholic. They said that it is much more complicated when you add other things to the mix. It is, truly, and I agree with you 100%. I believe that you truly 'heard' from that Higher Power that we recognize. And it is an indication to me of your recovery that you could admit to him that you were not the right sponsor for him.
I have learned in my 23 years of 'recovery' as Lois' friend, that those who get the Program are truly the most wonderful people, and I am proud to know many.
Treatment itself will never work. It is the support of those walking the walk that is needed, desparately, by those beginning that path toward sobriety, and all along the journey! It is the knowing that we are not 'special', simply because of our social status, our religion, our color, etc that makes it work, too. That is why traveling far away to 'special' treatment programs will not have any more success than the one in your own back yard that has the 12 Step Meetings that you will be needing when you leave treatment. It is our neighbors, our local people who will be able to be there for us when we reach out, and whom we will 'carry the message' too as we work the Steps.
Please come back! I enjoyed hearing from you!
God bless!!
LOL Harold Hill's book is NOT what it looks like up there....
" From Goo to You by Way of the Zoo"
There are inexpensive copies of his books (most published in early to mid 80's) at Alibris, http://www.alibris.com/search/books/author/Hill%2C%20Harold
"Mike" with an isp from India, who stayed only 42 seconds (not long enough to have read the post, much less know that I have a nice blog), it did come across as spam. I do not endorse any particular treatment program, esp one in California for my Wisconsin readers. Sorry, I have chosen not to put your comment on my blog.
Domain Name airtelbroadband.in ? (India)
IP Address 122.164.225.140 ? (ABTS Tamilnadu)
ISP Bharti Broadband
Location
Continent : Asia
Country : India (Facts)
State/Region : Tamil Nadu
City : Madras
Time of Visit Mar 6 2008 10:50:49 pm
Last Page View Mar 6 2008 10:51:31 pm
Visit Length 42 seconds
Page Views 1
Post a Comment
<< Home