Standing... in the Gap, til Death

Interesting the kinds of things that others say to one who does not date after (and sometimes before) separation and forced, no fault unilateral divorce in today's society. I am including not only words, but also 'looks' given when that fact is made public.

In the past years, I have been told that I am wrong, that what I believe is God's will for ME, but not for my neighbor/sibling/friend (that is moral relativism, you know, NOT Christianity!)

Jesus is very clear in His teaching on the indissolubility of marriage! Four separate places, four separate statements, He says that another marriage after divorce is adultery. While many try to justify 'THEIR' situation, He clearly names each person involved in any divorce/'re'marriage. And then, Paul tells us even more clearly that He says

(1Cor 7:10-11) To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband) -- and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

I am called a 'Saint' by some. Not. I am a Sinner.
I am told I am a 'Martyr' by others. NOT! I am bound by my own words, period. I am part of a Covenant that God has witnessed, and He does not break Covenant!
I am told that I am not facing reality... Oh, yes I am! But salvation of not only myself, but also my Spouse is at stake.
I am told that I hurt my children by my stubborn reluctance to move on, to 'get on with my life'... have you read Elizabeth Marquardt's book?
I am told that my problem is that I have lumped all men in the same category, and am 'afraid' to trust again.... NOT!

And some, including priests, have given in to the prevailing societal attitudes and say... you have made your point, but it has been long enough now that you can be 'free' to take care of yourself, pointing out that I should not have to be 'alone' in old age.... and our own Tribunal tells me that (in spite of never having been given any evidence to prove this fact) I am a 'former spouse'... while my CHURCH tells me that our marriage is to be considered VALID until proven to have been Null. In the eyes of the Church Herself, WE are married... until death parts us... no matter what man's Civil courts say to the contrary.

I am divorced in man's eyes only, married, and carrying my cross daily. I am not a martyr, I am a Stander, obedient to my God, my Lord and Savior, actively living my vows, my vocation, my role as spouse. I am doing what I promised to do on our wedding day. That makes me not a hero, not a martyr, not a pitiable figure in the least. I am strong in His company.

He says it takes two or three to make a Covenant. He and I say it exists, no matter who tries to say it does not. I am His Obedient Servant, with His help. For He thunders "For I hate divorce..." in Malachi 2:16.

I stand in the gap for my spouse, who has been deceived, just as so many of today's society, including many Tribunal members, priests and ministers.





Our vows:
The groom says:I (...), take you (...) to be my wife.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

The bride says:I (...), take you (...) to be my husband.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.


"Right is still right if nobody is right,
and wrong is still wrong if everybody is wrong,"
Archbishop Fulton J Sheen author of The Life of Christ


“In many parts of the world, the family is under siege.
It is opposed by an anti-life mentality as is seen in contraception,
abortion, infanticide and euthanasia. It is scorned and banalized
by pornography, desecrated by fornication and adultery, mocked by homosexuality,
sabotaged by irregular unions and cut in two by divorce.”
~~ Cardinal Arinze


But it is also proper to recognize the value of the witness of those spouses who, even when abandoned by their partner, with the strength of faith and of Christian hope have not entered a new union: These spouses too give an authentic witness to fidelity, of which the world today has a great need. For this reason they must be encouraged and helped by the pastors and the faithful of the church.
~~FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO Pope John Paul II 12/15/1981 (Sec 20)