Uncle Ray, May He Rest in Peace

I have been sick this past week, came home from work on Thursday early, and did not go in on Friday.

I have scooted through the emails in between naps.

Today, I checked other emails, and found one sent yesterday from my uncle Harold....

My Godmother is ONE with her husband of 67 years, and is now alone, as my Uncle Ray went Home on Friday.

I cannot imagine Aunt Jo living long without her partner, her love, the person she lived to take care of for all these years. He took good care of her--she took good care of him.

They had one child, Jim, and one grand child...Melanie, and as of six weeks ago, one Great grandchild.

I loved these two immensely, but they lived in Milwaukee, and I just did not get down there as often as I wanted to, nor as often as I should have. We always intend do, we never do... and so we also live with regrets.

I talked to Jim today, and to my Aunt Jo. She cried... naturally.

He would have been 99 on May 8th, she will be 90 in August.

She was an RN who never really 'had' to work, did a LOT of private-duty nursing with the 'really sick ones', and loved it. She also kept up on EVERYTHING, survived double breast mastectomies (one radical, one modified radical, I think I remember...) over thirty-thirty five (maybe longer ago) years ago! Their love is what kept her going.

She was in the very FIRST four yr program of Marquette University, and was Valedictorian of her class. She affiliated at St Joe's, and stayed active through alumni and other organizations.

He owned his own painting contracting business for many (nearly 60) years. He was US Coastguard Auxilliary for over 30 yrs. They traveled for many years on his boat, staying for months at a time in Florida, until he was no longer able to travel. They danced, and they traveled in his red Cadillac convertible, which he was so proud of. They still have it, still in very good condition. They lived in the same home for as long as I can remember...and my kids thought it was a palace, though it really was just a modest home.

Uncle Ray had white hair for as long as I can remember! And a mustache which was always well maintained. He was distinguished looking, to say the least. He never seemed to change, except that in the last few times I saw him, he looked just a little more fragile. He hated not being able to go out to eat the last few years, being more home-bound.

He read the news to my Aunt as her eyesight failed. And Aunt Jo said that a day or so before he died, he told her he was going to. She told him no... and he said ...yes. I think he sensed it, and tried to prepare her. I think SHE thought that by willing him not to, he would not leave her.... But God called...and he went Home....

We used to stop at their house all the time when we were on our way home to Springfield or on our way back to this area. I stayed there once, thinking that I was old enough....but got so homesick I even developed a fever! Uncle Ray heard the Ice Cream man outside, and bought me a whole bunch of fudgesicles to store in the freezer for when I got too homesick, but even that didn't work. Mom and Dad had to come get me (a two hour drive one way) early... but I never forgot that kindness he had. Their Jim was just a baby, then, I think!

They wanted kids, but kids just did not come. Until Jim. We often talked about our decision to adopt, their decision not to do so. She thought my kids were just wonderful. It was a difference in times, really....

But what a son they got! One very loving and kind, responsible, raising his daughter alone after divorce, including fighting for the right to do so! He has long had my admiration, including when he test road for Harley, complete with leathers and long hair....

Jim is four years younger than I am, and he will be 'alone' when his Mom dies as far as siblings go... He has his daughter, he has his fiancee (pray that they marry soon... sigh) and now, he is a bona fide grandpa himself. But he is now also totally responsible for his Mom.... and he just does not know how that will work out yet. She cannot stay alone alone, as she cannot see very well, nor hear well...and she is 89 yrs old. His friends fill in the gap of siblings in many ways, and perhaps even closer in others.

Pray for my Uncle Ray, my God mother Aunt Jo (the rest of the family calls her Gen... ie Genevieve Olga... oh, my!) and Jim, Debbie, Melanie, her husband Damon, and their infant son Leighton.

Uncle Ray, I love you. You will be missed by many.

God bless!