Fight For Marriage Should Have Started in 1969
Why is the Church Abandoning Marriage?
This year marks the thirtieth anniversary of two legal tragedies for families.
While the Church loudly protests one of them — Roe v Wade — the other — the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act — is completely ignored.
Marriage is cutting a wider swath in the news these days, now that the possibility of same-sex marriage is on the horizon.
Until recently, "marriage" news came mostly by way of its dark counterpart — divorce — when word leaked out about a high-profile breakup. But that has changed. Several recent High Court rulings have put "marriage" on the front page.
Recently, the Catholic Church in this country weighed in on this issue. U.S. Bishops made their position unequivocally clear — that the sacrament of marriage would not be opened to same-sex partners.
But, this country's secular leaders will continue to grapple with this contentious issue, and as a result, they may let another cat out of the bag.
The current rhetoric surrounding the threat to marriage posed by same-sex partners neglects a far more serious threat unleashed thirty years ago — the same year that Roe v Wade sent shock waves through the Church. While most people know the date of the historic legal opinion giving women the right to abortion — January 22, 1973 — the other legal milestone is hidden in obscurity.
But, on August 2nd that same year, a select group of lawyers meeting in Hyannis, Massachusetts, approved the final version of their five-year project — the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act.
There is much more to that article at the website, and it is an important read.My comments are interspersed below:
.- "Abysmal" Catholic apathy must be overcome to oppose those who are "fiercely determined" to impose homosexual "marriage," Bishop of Providence, Rhode Island Thomas J. Tobin has warned. Reasserting Catholic teaching on sexual morality, he also said that same-sex "marriage" will endanger religious freedom.
snip SO DID NO FAULT DIVORCE! We cannot object, cannot defend our marriages, cannot bring up indissolubility in the courts, and get LITTLE help from our pastors/Bishops -- and this INCLUDES non-Catholic pastors -- to reconcile, save marriages. In fact, MANY times, it is those very people who ENCOURAGE spouses to divorce and hint that Nullity is not only possible, but PROBABLE! That, without ever having spoken to the unsuspecting Mate who will be served first, the divorce papers, and then, the petition of Nullity later.
However, he said the typical Rhode Island Catholic's response was indifferent and cited not wanting to judge people. Tobin also said that Catholics give rationalizations about the decline of Catholic influence.
snip This is also true for no fault, forced, unilateral divorce, OFTEN brought about by the PETITIONERS's INFIDELITY! A further insult is when the same Church who now bemoans the destruction of marriage by same sex unions often grants NULL verdicts to those very UNFAITHFUL spouses who skirted around Church Law by marrying outside the Church, then want to return, and are told to live as brother and sister for the sake of THEIR children while the process of 'investigation' into Nullity is underway, instead of being told to separate for the sake of THE FIRST set of Children, and to follow the Lord's command of 1 Cor 7:10-11, which is to live singly or RECONCILE to that first spouse. Further, though it is clearly in Canon Law (and in many Papal teachings, writings, etc) that the FIRST MARRIAGE is to be presumed to be VALID until proven to be Null... yet in all cases, the first spouse is continually referred to as 'former', or worse, the depersonalizing 'EX'.
Further, there is NEVER any homilies on the evil of divorce or the permanency of marriage, INCLUDING the one time in three years that Mark 10 is read in the Sunday Mass (Cycle B). Why? It may offend some people in the pews?
Yes, it MAY, but it may also save some souls who may lose salvation if they continue to live in Sin! OOPS..that is another topic we hear little about today! We hear all about the Love and MERCY of God, but very little about His Justice. Does no one understand His words in Malachi? He hates divorce. He hates what it does to His children.
Bishop Tobin explained that "homosexual activity is unnatural and gravely immoral. It's offensive to Almighty God. It can never be condoned, under any circumstances. Gay marriage, or civil unions, would mean that our state is in the business of ratifying, approving such immoral activity."
snip Yes, just as it is today in its divorce law. Divorce is equally as offensive to Almighty God. Our own Catechism calls it a GRAVE MATTER, and an offense against Natural Law. Yet it is defended, and often encouraged by our own Church in many ways, and those who attempt to defend their marriage are often slammed in very Catholic forums by not only the Lay people, but also by others. Our children are leaving the Church, cohabiting, etc, and the 'solution' offered is BETTER MARRIAGE PREP. That will not do a single thing until the evil of today's divorce is recognized. Why? Because those same people offering the Marriage Prep also condone (and frequently encourage) no fault divorce, and 'throw their hands up', saying nothing can be done.Bishop Tobin introduced what he called the "champagne principle." Saying that not every wine has the unique characteristics of champagne, the bishop argued that someone who relabeled a bottle of Chianti and tried to sell it as champagne would be arrested for fraud.
Similarly, those who seek to redefine marriage and "to usurp the title 'marriage' for their morally bankrupt relationships," are "committing an act of fraud,"he charged. "It's insulting to those who have entered the authentic, sacred and time-honored institution of marriage over the years."
snip So is the treatment of those who are victims of UNILATERAL divorce!! So is the frequency of Null verdicts given under increasingly poor 1095-2 'grounds' . So has the high numbers of Null verdicts, which JPII and BXVI have both spoken against.
He closed with a warning about the implications the recognition of same-sex "marriage" would have for religious liberty.
"We're familiar with other examples of the gay agenda infringing on religious freedom," he said, noting how Massachusetts required the Catholic Church to place children for adoption with homosexual couples and how some countries have charged Christian preachers of hate crimes for voicing Christian doctrine about homosexual practices.
snip So where was the awareness in 1969, or August, 1973???Bishop Tobin said that if only five or ten percent of Rhode Island's Catholic population became involved on this issue "we could have an enormous impact and help Rhode Island maintain its moral sanity."
He encouraged Catholics to become aware of political action on the issue, to write letters to the editor, and to encourage their representatives to "defend marriage and family values.
"And you can pray fervently that God will help us in this critical struggle on behalf of morality and common sense," he added.
If the imposition of homosexual marriage happens in Rhode Island, the bishop concluded, "It'll be our fault… simply because our abysmal apathy allowed it to happen."
That final paragraph says it all, as far as I am concerned. HAD THIS SAME type of action been taken LONG ago, perhaps we would not be fighting THIS fight for Marriage TODAY! Had ANY of the Church taken action way back then, in 1969 or Aug, 1973, we may have had an entirely different world than the one we have today.
For those who want to write to defend 'their' situation... I am sorry, but I have heard those stories a myriad of times.
This time, I deserve to have MY opinion heard, and would ask you to look into the UDMA transcripts that Judy Parejko took the time to find and transcribe which document how evil that Law is.
Read her book, Stolen Vows.
Read the transcript that is in the Ways and Means Archives --ROOTS OF THE AMERICAN CULTURE AND COMMUNITY IN DISARRAY Statement of Bill Wood, Charlotte, North Carolina House Committee on Ways and Means
--
"Divorce tears marriage apart. It desolates both husband and wife. It leaves the children not only in tears but also in misery. We do not deny that there can be serious disagreement between husband and wife, but divorce is not the solution. When husband and wife have a disagreement, they should reflect, pray, sit together and discuss. Accept fault where you are wrong, ask for pardon, or consult a priest or other spiritual adviser, but do not divorce."
~~Francis Cardinal Arinze
posted by WI Catholic @ 4/30/2009 04:47:00 AM
4 Comments:
I love your zeal, WI. I have lost mine along the way, but not my anger and certainly never the pain; mine or our children's and now grandchildren's and in particular, the hurt I have caused them. The latter weighs heavily, and justly, upon me.
May they find it in their hearts to forgive me.
Your fan,
Karl
Hi, Karl,
Sigh. Almost two years ago, I was diagnosed with Stage 1, upgraded to Stage 2 only because there were not enough lymph nodes to check (need 12-14 CA-free nodes to stay at Stage 1). In the past two years, though I am thrilled with the clear results, I have also come to realize that I am now the Big 30 x2, and that I may be alone until the time He calls me Home, where, please God, I will join Him (after purgatory, perhaps, but then we all need to dress in the wedding finery He will provide to enter His Wedding Feast...)
That, and the fact that the divorce door was opened by the generation before ours, followed by ours, and I am now watching the results in our children, and seeing my grandchildren hurting badly because of it has also put me in the very Tired category. To some extent, also in the angry category.
I have gone through several very deeply sad periods recently, as many of my own dreams are perhaps drawing to a close (again). You understand the again part, since we both had to give up many dreams when the demon of divorce reared its head in our lives.
When I began my married life, and all was 'good', I told my parents, and my in-laws that I would care for them in their final days. My Dad died in 1987. My in-laws died without my care by their choices, and that of their son. My mother needs me. I am going to keep that promise to her.
But when I made that promise long ago, it was as a young woman, a new nurse, with a husband to help to ease the load of raising children, and caring for parents.
I helped to raise my siblings (and don't want anything but respect from them, which is not given by most), and then went on to raise our children alone. I am now facing the rest of my life doing much the same.
No, Karl. I am not full of zeal, nor a saint. I am feeling very old, very tired, and very disheartened by the lack of understanding in our world.
I have asked Him why we cannot have at least ONE very out-spoken, influential man in each of the levels of the Church to speak for us so many times. Pro-life has 2, Frs Pavone and Euteneuer, and Cardinal O'Connor (rest his soul), as well as others like BishopVasa, Archbishops Dolan and Burke, etc. all the way up to the Pope.
Where is ours? JPII and BXVI have both spoken about the numbers of Null decrees, but it does not seem to get past the Rota.
Today, I am asking St Joseph to find some good, strong, influential men to speak out for all those honoring their vows, and to have a podium like Fr Pavone, et all to make that support loud and clear. I know that March 19 is the feast day where being the Spouse of Mary is honored, and that today honors his being a working man, a carpenter. But in that position, he was also provider for his family.
St Joseph, pray for us!
Mary, Mother who asked her Son to perform his first miracle at a wedding, pray for us.
Lord, we need Miracles of Reconciliation of First Marriages all around your world. It is now 40 yrs that your people have been wandering in the desert of no fault divorce. 1969 is when Reagan signed the first law into being. Bring us OUT of this desert, and into the Promised Land, in Jesus Most Holy Name! Amen.
God bless, my friend, Karl.
It is a joy to see one's parents through their final journey on earth.
Our family were assisted by hospice in mom's case and this made it much better for her than dad had it a few months before.
Divorce was made "neutral" and even a "good" with the advent of updated annulments. It is an issue impossible to address with such a view as the standard practice in the Catholic Church.
It is to be expected in the secular world but as such, even in the Church, the problem is beyond repair, except through miracles.
I will be 55 later this month and often feel much older.
You will be in my prayers WI.
Karl
Thank you, Karl, and you know that you are always in mine, as well.
I need prayer right now, not that I am THAT bad off. When I look around and see others' lives, I can always find something to be grateful for, and also see others who have it harder.
God bless!
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