We need prayers...................

I am going to post this, but not sure it will stay here or not.... not sure that something this personal involving other members of the family should be here. ... but it is for now, something that I am going to put here.... I 'feel' like there is a reason...

I have been 'waiting' for the 'right time' to go see my fil.... I have, in actuality been chicken. My sil (C) had called me awhile ago to bring me up to date as to where he (fil, G) was healthwise, and what she and M's brother (her husband... R) had been talking about.

They have come to the conclusion that he needs to see a priest to reconcile with HIS Church, not theirs. I felt the same. G is Catholic, not non-denominational. G has told them that the Church left HIM, he did not leave the Church.

G divorced my mil...and refused to go to the Tribunal to seek a declaration of nullity, saying that they only wanted to know about their sex life... he married another outside the Church

My oldest, Erin, called her Dad (M) tonight, and got her step-mother, (D) As Erin was ready to hang up, D said... wait, there is something I need to tell you...and Erin knew what it would be about ... D said she did not care if M got mad or not... she felt that the kids should know...and told Erin that G has been in the hospital since Friday, not doing well, and they don't know if he will make it this time.

So, my question is... if she felt the 'kids' should know... why has she not called THEM, and why did this wait til Erin called HER three days later, and then given as a last minute part of the conversation??

Ok, so back to me. (I hate divorce, and this is one of the many reasons.... I would have put up with that very anger and TOLD our adult children right away, and kept them in the loop all along, giving THEM the choice of seeing him or waiting.... not hidden it )... never mind, again, back to me....

So, I called my bil's home ( to actually talk to C, but she was not home....) and I got a chance to tell R that I have been praying hard for G and that step mother K had told me I was welcome anytime.... but that I had really had strong strong strong feelings that G needs to reconcile with the Church before it is too late. Told him that I cannot be the one asking him if he wants to see a priest because I am on the outside for so very long....and just do not feel it is my place to do so...but that HE could.... R told me that he agreed with me about the Church, and even the why ... that until G reconciles with the Church, he cannot get to Jesus to reconcile, etc (remember, I am speaking to a non-denom of about 18 yrs now.... ) R has been trying to find a way to talk to his Dad for a long time, to wait for the right words, the right time...

I laughingly and tearfully told him that this is the Irish in us... deeply engrained, ... if we don't talk about it, it will go away....DEEPLY Irish (may be in other backgrounds, but not like it is in the Irish... believe me... ).

Told him that I had heard a priest speak the other day (Fr Corapi) who said that if we REALLY love someone, we want them to be in Heaven someday... well, R now has his words... he asked me if he could use them to introduce the topic to his Dad, saying that they were perfect, and practiced them out loud several times as he thought it through...

But now, back to me..... it is time.

I am going to the hospital tomorrow. I regret that it was not sooner, but it is time NOW, for sure.

Pray for us... please.

Also, for my kids, who are not doing well. As I write this, my son has left work, is sobbing, is going to the hospital regardless of the time... has asked his sister Erin to go, and then asked me if I was going to be up, if he could come here later if he needs to... please pray for him.

There will be misdirected but honest anger at his Dad for not telling them sooner how sick G is.... and I have to admit it makes ME angry, also. I KNOW M lives in denial and does not deal well with this... he never has. But to not tell his adult kids that Grandpa (the only one they have since Kev was five... ) is near dying when he KNOWS that they want to be told is infuriating...and especially since he was just ASKED on Sunday at our little Kyle's Baptism....

Sorry, back to me... G is my fil, no matter what the state says. No matter what society says. He is, perhaps, the ONLY father in law I will ever have.

Pray for me, that my anger about this does not shroud the grief that I am feeling... It is one of my defense mechanisms... (can't you tell?) to get angry rather than to be 'weak' and 'cry'.... and I am fighting it like crazy right now... fighting the angry feelings that are directed toward others who have no more clue than I have... and trying very hard to let the tears come....