Survivors' guilt

I know that a person 'should' have a minimum of three to six months of earnings in savings for those rainy days that happen in life as a backup. I know that it is important to have savings for the future, etc. But sometimes, life happens, and it isn't always possible.

Raising three alone, putting them through Catholic schools, including High School (for many reasons, including the fact that every adult in those buildings knew every kid, and none got away with skipping out, etc...as a sort of back up system for me), returning to school myself while doing this has left me often still living more of a check to check life than that ideal. But there are times when I really WISH that this was not so.

As I watch what is going on in New Orleans, I know that they need a lot of help from people of all walks of life, including medical. If I had that three to six month cushion that is recommended, I would be on my way down there to help. I feel so helpless now. There is NOTHING personal that I can do. I am too far away to offer a bedroom for a few months. My nursing skills are being used here to support myself right now. My Dental Hygiene skills, same.
Money, yes, is needed, and that 'cushion' in the bank could have easily been divided in half and sent to one of the relief agencies... or even more... if it were there. Someday, it will be, as I 'recover' slowly from 'single' parenthood created by no fault forced, unilateral divorce so long ago. But it has not happened just yet.

I needed furniture, and saved that money to purchase it recently, still needing bookshelves and a dining room set (the table/chairs I have are your basic inexpensive set you get when first married, showing the wear of 35+ years, a son who found that a sharp knife could make nice slits in the plastic one day.... and then that the insides of the cushion could be seen, etc...)

But today, sitting here, again watching the news stories of what people are going through down there in Biloxi, New Orleans, Mobile, etc...I find myself wishing that the living room set I had done without already for a year was still not ordered, with the money spent for it on its way to those who can help down there.

Even my severe allergies, asthma would not prevent me from going there, if I could just swing it financially. One can wear masks to help a little.

Survivors' guilt can reach even those of us far away from the scenes of the horrific destruction.

I always talk about what I will do someday, when I am rich and famous, realizing that I will never be either. But if I were either right now, I would not be on this chair, watching what is going on, nor writing on this puter. My scrubs would have been packed, my car filled, and I would have left already. My heart cries out to the people there. My skills are needed... but only my prayers and a small amount of financial donation are able to be offered. And though prayer will help.... it is very hard to know I have to continue to sit here, watching, praying..... not doing.

Lord, help them all to find each other, to get the medical help needed, to find water and food, shelter and clothes. Be with them, strengthen those in need, and those aiding them. Send angels to protect all from those who would do evil at such a time. Comfort those dying, unable to reach help. Be merciful, Lord, in Jesus' Precious name. Put your arms around them each, so that they know that they have not been forsaken. Send your angels to reach those in most need. Guide them to safe havens. Help those who are there to rescue find those in need of rescue quickly. Be with the babies, and their parents. Be with the elderly and their families. Be with the disabled. Be with those who are now experiencing the anguish of loss, and the pain of dehydration/starvation. Cool their feverish bodies. Comfort them, Oh Lord.

Call those who would do evil to account, to repentance, to end the turmoil, the looting, the shooting and turn to you for forgiveness, or face your Justice swiftly.

Mary, pray for them as only a Mother can.