Let God be God

For what it is worth, my 2 cents:

One of the worst things anyone involved in a mixed marriage is to try to convert them, and by doing so, attempt to be the Holy Spirit for the spouse. One question asked by some is "What will you do about your mate if he/she NEVER converts?"..... The answer... grieve for the entire marriage? Or better, I will still love him/her.... ?

Then if the answer is the second, it must be obvious that we must stop trying to be the one to bring them in and just LOVE THEM where they are! We cannot change them. We cannot have 'the right words' ... we can only love and pray for them...and Let God be God. God wants them home worse than we do.

I was on my way home from work last night, listening to Relevant Radio, the Catholic station here. The Journey Home was on, and the guest was Tim Drake. He said that not one time had his wife ever suggested that he become Catholic, nor try to convert him. Had she done so, he said, it would have caused a rift, with him digging in and trying to prove her wrong. AFTER he entered the Church, she told him how long and how hard she had prayed for that. I have heard the same thing from many others.

Some do NOT convert. So we then choose to have a less than happy marriage by grieving something that we cannot control...and worse, making ourselves and others miserable by dwelling constantly on a negative? This is worse if the couple chose to marry knowing full well that there was a difference in faith in the first place! Are there precedents for LOVING that person and being the best wife/husband we can be for them? YES... myriads! Saints, Blesseds, etc. A good and more recent example is Elizabeth Leseur. Had she spent her life grieving Felix's lack of faith, she would not have had the peace she did. She prayed, she offered all of her sufferings for him, she was an excellent wife, she kept a secret diary, she influenced and helped others, she led a very devout prayer life and a very active witness to others... at her funeral, her husband was shocked to see so many in grief at her death...and then he found her diary....

He not only converted, he became the Catholic she had told him he would become one day, and he became a priest. He gave retreats, at least one of which our own Archbishop Sheen attended!

We cannot ever know when or if our mates will convert. We cannot be the Holy Spirit. We can only hinder the Holy Spirit in His work when we try to be... we are only responsible to LIVE our Faith, to LOVE our mates, and to pray for their salvation! What were our vows?

I, ... take you,.... to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Or

I, ________, take you ______, for my wife/husband,
to have and to hold,
from this day forward, for better,
for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

No place in those vows does it say to change our spouse, or to try to be God in their life....

I have seen too many people give up so much happiness by not loving their spouse right where they are, for better or for worse.... by living in the 'if only he/she would....'