Missing N.C. twins found in Canada

Twins Holly and Tyler Needham are seen being held by their mother Allison Lee Quets in this photo made available by the FBI, Friday, Dec. 29, 2006. The FBI and Canadian officials joined the search for Quets who disappeared from North Carolina after a holiday visit and may be in Canada, the FBI said. The biological mother, Allison Lee Quets, 49, had visitation rights as a part of a custody agreement, authorities said. (AP Photo/FBI)

AP




According to an article posted Dec. 30, 2006, 4:37AM, the twins have been found. Their birth mother apparently crossed the border with them on Dec 23.

I have restrained myself from writing on this, because I do not know the entire story. If the adoption was finalized, I have one opinion. If it never was, and is still in the process of being worked out, I have another.

Either way, they should NEVER have been taken out of the country, and she should have honored custodial agreement that were in effect.

The fact that there was no Amber Alert issued really angers me, however. On news reports, it was stated that this was a 'family custodial matter', and therefore did not qualify. Excuse me...there have been MANY Amber alerts that I have seen that resulted from a father taking his kids, a mother taking her kids, parents taking their kids when they were in foster care. So how does THIS case differ??

Adoptive parenting is NOT babysitting. We become the parents by law, just as though we had given birth to them. Custodial parents also have rights.

Until more facts come out about the status of the adoption, I really cannot and will not comment on the rest of my thoughts. I feel for the parents, immensely. Both parents, adoptive and birth.

But kidnapping, and interferring with parental rights is a crime, regardless, no matter who takes the kids.

I have no sympathy for a parent who does not return children after visitation in divorce cases, either, so don't think that this is solely an adoption issue. Taking children in this fashion not only makes the ones waiting for their return go through hell, it also puts the children into a situation where THEY are hurt, where they are used as pawns.

The "Baby Richard" case of the early to mid-ninties is one reason that I will not and cannot form a more definitive opinion on this story. Baby Richard's birth mother lied to his birth father, telling him that the baby had died. In Illinois, at that time, a birthfather had thirty days to file to fight the adoption. He did.

At that point, the child should have been returned to him. Period. Instead, the adoptive parents (and I could definitely understand their wanting to do so) fought to keep him. That fight ended up in the Illinois Supreme Court, and the birth father won his case. We all remember the terrible pictures of the child being pulled from his adoptive parents arms yelling that he would be good...

Similarly, the 'Baby Jessica' case where the attorney had the birthmother sign in less than the 72 hour waiting period Iowa required, and had no real consent from the birthfather (again, bmother had lied about the father), there was no legal way that an adoption could/should have taken place.

In both of those cases, it still angers me that the lies of the two women about the birthfathers started everything in motion, ultimately hurting the children, AND the adoptive families, as well as the birthfathers. Rights were trampled by those women, who ultimately gained by finally being honest with the birthfathers, and then benefitting when the birthfathers won long and hard fought legal battles.

I have always felt sorry for the birthfathers in these cases, as well as the adoptive parents. I have had little sympathy for the lying women who caused the events in the first place.

If this is another case similar, where the birthmother truly did change her mind within a period of time allowed by the law, I do have sympathy for her. If, as her sister says, she was pressured into placing the babies with the adoptive parents BY the adoptive parents... I have sympathy.

If she was NOT pressured, and did not attempt to rescind the termination of parental rights until after the legal time to do so... then the entire situation is different.

But kidnapping children, interfering with parental rights/custodial agreement is NOT the way to go about it.

I wait further news reports, if any.

God bless!