Couples grateful they chose life: Josie and Daniel

Many people see only the problems when they are told that there may be something wrong with their child. But they don't see the blessings. These two couples do, and perhaps can teach others by their words. At least I hope that they can. I have learned MUCH about unconditional love from cognitively disabled. I have learned much more than I have ever been able to do for them.

God bless!

Couples grateful they chose life: Josie and Daniel

By Lisa Schulte
10/12/2006

The Catholic Voice

OMAHA, Neb. (The Catholic Voice) - Upon hearing the news that their 22-week-old unborn baby had a heart defect and showed signs of Down syndrome, Dennis and Sue Clark were asked just how heroic they wanted to be.

The radiologist who looked at the ultrasound said their little baby might not make it to term, or if she did, she would only live about three hours.

The Omaha couple said they were in shock, but knew there was no choice but to carry their baby to full term and love her like they loved their other two children.

“I’m sure what they were thinking is that they could do the abortion right then and there,” Sue Clark said. “We told them that abortion was not an option.”

The Clarks, parishioners at St. Stephen the Martyr Church in Omaha, knew raising a child with a disability would be challenging, but instead of giving up, they put their trust in God and looked forward to becoming parents again.

Dennis Clark said his prayer life used to be like the lottery - “I need this, I need that” - but in reflecting and reading the Bible and listening to different topics about Josie, he said “the thing that really jumped out at me was the prayer that Christ said in the Garden of Gethsemane, ‘Lord, if this cup should pass, let it pass, but not my will be done, but thy will be done.’ That really became my central focus of prayer during that whole time frame.”

Josie was born Sept. 1, 2001, with Down syndrome. She had major heart surgery when she was 12 weeks old to correct her heart defects.

The Clarks, who had two more children after Josie, said not a day goes by that they aren’t grateful for their decision to let Josie live and the blessings and joy she brings to their lives.

Josie brings joy as a courageous child, but even more so than that because “her milestones are greater achievements,” Sue Clark said. “It takes longer for her to reach those milestones and when she does, it’s a family type of joy versus an individual joy because it’s teamwork in our family to help her achieve those.”

Blessings of God

For Mary McHale and her husband, Joe Holm, discovering at birth that their child had Down syndrome was a lesson in both faith and acceptance.

“There are people who choose to go ahead and terminate their pregnancies when they find out that there is something going on with their child, whether it’s Down syndrome or another chromosomal abnormality,” Mary McHale said.

But in the blink of an eye, a typically developing child can get a high fever and become brain damaged or can start having seizures or can be in an accident, she said.

“So you never really know what you’re capable of bearing until it happens to you,” she said.

The couple’s only child, eight-year-old Daniel, is a third-grader at Western Hills School in Omaha.

McHale said many of her worries about her son’s future and life have been calmed as she watches his activities and abilities grow. Daniel will be making his first Communion this year at Sacred Heart Church in Omaha, where his parents are members, and he is active in soccer, karate and swimming.

Both he and Josie were planning to participate in the Omaha Metro Area Buddy Walk, a one-mile walk to help promote awareness and inclusion for persons with Down syndrome.

“Daniel has a bigger, better social schedule than I do,” McHale said.

Both couples said their children have helped them grow closer to God, and have taught them how to live better lives themselves.

“Daniel has taught me patience,” McHale said. “He’s taught me to look at things differently and he’s taught me that it’s OK to be different and to take your time and to listen.”

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This story was made available to Catholic Online by permission of The Catholic Voice (www.tcvomaha.com), official newspaper of the Archdiocese of Omaha, Neb.