Tuesday, August 01, 2006

"I am deeply ashamed of everything I said...." Mel Gibson

This was the first statement from Mel Gibson:

After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed.

I drove a car when I should not have, and was stopped by the LA County Sheriffs. The arresting officer was just doing his job and I feel fortunate that I was apprehended before I caused injury to any other person.

I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said, and I apologize to anyone who I have offended.

Also, I take this opportunity to apologize to the deputies involved for my belligerent behavior. They have always been there for me in my community and indeed probably saved me from myself.

I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry.

I have battled with the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse. I apologize for any behavior unbecoming of me in my inebriated state and have already taken necessary steps to ensure my return to health.



I have taught my children that when you apologize, you own what you did, you get specific about what you did, and you do not JUSTIFY what you did, nor do you blame anyone else. You also do not 'take back' your apology by adding "But if you hadn't...then I wouldn't have..."

In the above statement, Mel Gibson blamed only himself. Though he did not get specific about what he had said, he did say that his words were despicable, and that he was ashamed of everything he had said. Though his words included anti-Semitic ranting, he had also used other words to a female officer, from what was published. In this short statement, he apologized to any one he may have offended by his 'despicable words'.

He admitted that he had been drinking, had had too much to drink, and that he has had a horrific relapse in his battle with alcoholism (which he HAS publically admitted in the past).

He was arrested, he paid his bail, and he will face the consequences.

What is the difference between Mel Gibson and Patrick Kennedy?

One lied about where he was going when he had the car accident, and never took a blood alcohol test (hence we do not know if it was 'just Ambien' or a combination), and did not apologize for his behavior. Both were public. Both have admitted to having a problem in the past (though Patrick Kennedy had just been in treatment for prescription drugs... Ambien is also a prescription drug).

People in the news thought it wonderful how 'honest' Patrick was about his problem, and many began to 'explain' his behavior by blaming the 'curse' of the Kennedy's. Others called him a 'boy, in spite of the fact that he is an adult, and a member of our national legislative body!!

One made a public statement that listed what HE had done, and called it for what it was. The other made a public statement that 'explained away' his behavior and turned it into a political statement.

I do not condone anything that Mel Gibson said.

Do I believe he meant it all? No, not necessarily so.

I have heard too many drunks over my nearly sixty years who, when backed into a corner, come out roaring a lot of things that they later cannot believe they have said.

Do I subscribe to the old adage that wine (alcohol) makes one speak truth? Nope, heard too many lies over those same years come out of the mouths of quiet drinkers and roaring drunks/drug users.

And in those same nearly sixty years, I have also had a few episodes of my own with too much to drink and the resulting embarrassing events that would NEVER have happened if I had not been drunk at the time. Mine were stupid stuff, but did include some arguments that got out of hand, and things were said that were not meant, but instead, were designed to ZING. Push a button. Hurt someone who had (in my state of mind) hurt me.

Do I believe he meant what he said in his apology? Yes. I have heard and read too many like Patrick Kennedy's. Placebo words, not heart words.

When one calls his own behavior and the results things like despicable, horrific, disgraceful, etc, (and it was every one of those), instead of trying to make it seem "not quite so bad", I have to admit that it takes on an air of honesty.

When he later comes out with an even more personal apology to very specific people (whether some want to accept it or not) I have even MORE of a tendency to accept the words as being real.

Today, Mel Gibson made a very specific apology.

Today, he was working one of the Steps, and making amends, offering to make reparation. He did not have to issue a second, more specific apology. But he did.

Today, though I am deeply disappointed in what he had done, I see another example of those 12 Steps in progress.

And he is right. He cannot do it alone. Those of us in the 12 Step Programs know that the ONLY way we can do anything is with God's help.

Mel Gibson did not ask you to go watch his latest movie in his apology. He did not promote a cause in his apology. That, in my estimation, is the difference between him and Patrick Kennedy.

Oh, and those police officers who arrested him and held him accountable... God bless you!

UNLIKE the Capital Police who did NOT hold another accountable, but instead helped to cover up and enable someone else's intoxication (whether by alcohol or Ambien), you HELPED him to face reality, face the consequences of his own actions. God bless you for that.

(CNN) -- There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of anti-Semitic remark. I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUI charge.

I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena. As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologize directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.

The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life. Every human being is God's child, and if I wish to honor my God I have to honor his children. But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith.

I'm not just asking for forgiveness. I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.

I have begun an ongoing program of recovery and what I am now realizing is that I cannot do it alone. I am in the process of understanding where those vicious words came from during that drunken display, and I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery. Again, I am reaching out to the Jewish community for its help. I know there will be many in that community who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable. But I pray that that door is not forever closed.

This is not about a film. Nor is it about artistic license. This is about real life and recognizing the consequences hurtful words can have. It's about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad.




Sadly, many gave Patrick Kennedy more credence, and will continue to 'elect him' without holding him accountable, but there are MANY already claiming that Mel Gibson's career is ended.

1 Comments:

Blogger Jean Heimann said...

Excellent post! I like how you break things down and I also like the comparison between Mel & Patrick Kennedy.

Thanks!
Jean

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 at 6:03:00 AM CDT  

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