DON'T reprise

Way back in July, 2005, I wrote this:

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Don't

Today, we hear so many excuses for having an affair, and most of them blame the other spouse!

Regardless of how 'bad' that spouse may be in communication, etc, it is not the spouse who chose to break the wedding vows, and they hold NONE of the responsibility for that choice you may have made or may be about to make... none. NONE. None.

I do not advocate divorce, at all. But if things are really all that bad, don't cheat. Get help, get counseling alone or together, hopefully with someone who has great success at healing and helping marriages. But don't cheat.

An 'affair' is not something that 'JUST HAPPENED'. It is a choice, made by you and you alone, to abandon your promise, your Covenant, your spouse, your marriage. Blame yourself, and yourself alone. Take responsibility for your own actions. Many have had mediocre or poor marriages and NEVER broken their vows. Your spouse did not force you to have an affair. You chose to do so. Period.

Just as an alcoholic's wife/husband does not tie them down and pour the beer/liquor/wine down their throat, forcing them to drink, no one forces you to cheat. Period. No one can make you do it.

If things are really that bad, and you have really tried GOOD counselors and still choose the divorce route, don't date til it is over. Then take time to heal, get more counseling. Reflect on what YOU did to make the marriage fail or you will repeat it all over. Take responsibility for your part and your own actions.

But don't cheat. And don't blame others for your actions.

If you are in the temptation area and toying with the idea... DON'T.